The Murphy Shuffle

I went to the new Yankee Stadium tonight for the first time, and the best part of my evening was that I missed almost all of the Met game.

Squawker Lisa has suggested that the Mets bring back “The Curly Shuffle” to replace “Sweet Caroline” in the eighth inning. In the eighth inning of tonight’s game, it seemed as if the Mets were trying to do their own version of the Three Stooges – Carlos Beltran failing to slide and being out at the plate followed by Daniel Murphy slipping and flailing as the ball sailed over his head.

All that was missing after the Murphy misadventure was for Beltran to come over, say “What’s the matter with you?” and slap him in the head.

Murphy could then reply to Beltran, “You didn’t slide,” but Beltran could retort, “You were also out at the plate (slap), you also fell down in the fifth (slap) and you got picked off (slap).”

Unfortunately, there’s not much funny about a 6-7 record and a team that has been mediocre so far, blowing yet another early big lead, this time 4-0.

In Oliver Perez’ first full year with the Mets, his ERA was 3.56. In his second year, it was 4.22. Add those two and you get 7.78. After tonight’s game, Perez’ ERA is 7.80.

My number theorist friend David will be pleased to know that I somehow remember that, in a Fibonacci sequence, each number is the sum of the previous two numbers. If Perez’ ERA becomes a Fibonacci sequence during his three-year deal, his ERAs for the next three years will be 7.78, 12.00, 19.78.

One more year in that sequence and Perez will be closing in on Chien-Ming Wang’s current ERA of 34.50!

And now Omar Minaya has signed Wily Mo Pena, who hit .205 last year before being released by the worst team in baseball, the Nationals. Is this the best way to come to the Mets these days – hit for a pitiful average and get released? Is the outfield doomed to become this year’s version of the rotation circus that featured the likes of Jose Lima?

Even the Murphy Shuffle would be better than that.