Where in the world is Al?

Ok, I have a question for you Raider Nation: Who stole Al’s medication and swapped it with brain steroids? On a more serious note, where is Al Davis? Has anyone even seen him this year?

Yes, I’ll admit, there are some clear cut Al moves this offseason, but they don’t have his trademark stamp on them. What do I mean by that

I mean that normally when you bring in a free agent like John Henderson, there is a figurative dollar sign on the side of his helmet instead of the classic Raiders’ shield. Al Davis does not sign John Henderson’s for one year contracts; he signs them for seven year contracts worth $80 million.

In another Al Davis move the Raiders added two former first rounds picks to the roster in Jason Campbell and Kamerion Wimbley. But what would the normal price be for players like these? Certainly not a fourth round draft choice in 2012 and/or Colt McCoy (the QB the Browns got with the pick traded for Wimbley).

Now before anyone goes and says, ‘well the Raiders could use a QB like Colt McCoy’, just stop yourself, because that’s not what this article is about. This is about finding Al Davis. In order to do this, I need you to focus.

Speaking of which, you mean to tell me the head coach didn’t get fired? Yeah, I’m digging up bones on this one, but it’s still not like the Al Davis run Raiders. In January, the only thing the talking heads had to say was ‘Where’s the projector, this is going to be classic.’ Now all the analysts are talking ‘Watch out for Oakland, they might be a sleeper.’

In the words of my boss when I mess up at my full time job, “Wha-wha-what Happened?”Well, I’ll tell you what I think happened; somebody hid Al Davis in a maze in Bangladesh, he can’t find his way back to Alameda, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.

Back in May there was breaking news, ‘The Raiders released JaMarcus Russell’. I remember finding out quite clearly. I was sitting out on my front porch and got a text message from Patrick A. Patterson. It said, “You’re logged in, are you writing an article about JaMarcus being released?” At first I thought he was just joking, so I had to ask him like three times if he was serious.

Now, if I recall correctly, Davis was the guy who said, in his heavy Brooklyn accent, “JaMarcus will be great, tell the world!” And then he quits on him within a year? Yeah, I’m not buying in on that bologna. I’ve been wondering for a while how it all went down. Did JaMarcus walk into his office and Davis told him he was being released? Was it a phone call to the agent? Does Al even know about this? I highly doubt it and he is going to be mad when he gets back to town.

Bringing in Hue Jackson as a coach looks like it already worked based on the OTA workouts and mini-camps. Jackson could probably disappear from the known world tomorrow and the players would still feed (for the entire season) off of the energy he provided over the short time he has been there. Clearly this move to hire Hue was not done by “crazy” Al and his minions.

The Raiders may look better on paper, but I promise you they will miss him. Some corporation will buy the team and move them back to L.A. We have got to find him or else it’s all downhill from here. They will change the team’s name, logo, and perhaps even the colors (purple and gold anyone?). So Raider Nation, I beg of you please, tell me where in the world is Allen “Al” Davis?

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