Other than the unrelenting march of time, how is it already Week 8 of the season? It seems like just a few weeks ago I was getting on a plane to go watch Ole Miss play Vanderbilt in one of the most mentally and physically (I am very weak) exhausting games I've ever attended (in my defense, the humidity, SWEET MERCY, THE HUMIDITY at the game was out of control).
That was seven weeks ago today, which means we now find ourselves on the backside of the college football season. And as much as I want more college football, I'm glad we only have to do this for roughly four months out of the year.
Anything more and I'd be even more of wreck than I already am. For example, I read this article on Bo Wallace taking the Ole Miss offensive line out for wings following the debacle at Auburn.
When I got to the part where the number of wings eaten was discussed, I launched into full hand-wringing mode because Ole Miss' starting center only ate 15 wings. Now, maybe he doesn't care for Buffalo Wild Wings or is one of these smart people that doesn't eat until the point of nausea, but how does someone who weighs 300-ish pounds stop at 15, especially when someone else is paying?
Back when I had talent and ability at eating, 12 wings was an easy meal. When I wanted to feel gross about myself, 18 was attainable, so WHY DOES OUR STARTING CENTER NOT HAVE A ZEST FOR EATING DISGUSTING AMOUNTS OF WINGS? CLEARLY THIS HAS AN EFFECT ON HIS ABILITY TO BLOCK.
And with those last two paragraphs, you see how the college football season affects the way my brain interprets articles meant to point out that a quarterback is trying to bond with his linemen to help inspire them to keep him from getting repeatedly planted in the ground. Being like this for six or seven months would only result in a lecture from the men in the white coats, as they reminded me again that edge pieces do not belong in the middle of a puzzle.
*This week's selections are coming a day early due to travel and such to the Ole Miss/LSU game. I know Ole Miss' chances are bleak at best, but I would be very satisfied with a Les Miles clock management disaster at some point, which results in LSU fans lustily booing him.
Last week: 3-3 (.500)
Season: 21-33-1 (.381)
Georgia (-7.5) at Vanderbilt
My eyes don't see so good right now, but is that Vanderbilt on CBS? Granted, it's the 11 AM game, but still. This is like a 150-year comet streaking across a lunar eclipse the night Ed Orgeron wins the Sugar Bowl.
It appears as if the result of Georgia's injuries and much less than good defense has settled in for an extended stay. But the good news for Georgia is that Vanderbilt isn't the 8-win team everyone thought they might be.
In fact, if they lose this one, the Commodores are halfway home to a Bobby Johnson tribute season of 0-8 in the conference. Godspeed in that quest.
However, until Georgia gets some of its injured offensive players back, they don't have the guns/missiles/Maverick to pull away from teams, especially with their defensive issues. Vandy and the points.
South Carolina (-7.5) at Tennessee
Either Arkansas is really really really times 1,000 bad, or South Carolina finally got its ass in gear and Arkansas is just really really really times 250 bad. If it's the latter, then they could give a Florida-Steve-Spurrier-beating-Tennessee-Phil-Fulmer-with-Peyton-Manning beating to Tennessee.
For Tennessee, they've had an extra week to recover from the psychological terror of losing to Georgia the way they did. While that's nice, I don't think it dramatically improves skill levels, most notably against the run, where Tennessee is 78th in the country in rush defense and South Carolina is 18th in rushing offense.
Tennessee doesn't have the players to keep up with South Carolina, and combined with my belief that Spurrier prepares for this game like he's facing Phil Fulmer and wants maximum destruction, I'll take South Carolina to cover.
Florida (-3) at Missouri
Finally, a chance to see Tyler Murphy and Maty Mauk go head-to-head. It's the battle of backup quarterbacks on which we've pinned our hopes and dreams for football excellence.
And it's the JP game! OH HOW THE STARS NICELY ALIGNED FOR THIS ONE.
Florida will lean heavily on its best offensive weapons – turnovers created by its defense and special teams – and wait for Mauk and others to self-destruct. If they don't, well, there is no other plan because FLORIDA OFFENSE 2013.
Missouri and the points.
Auburn at Texas A&M (-12.5)
Even more enraging about the Ole Miss/Auburn game is the way Ole Miss played last week. If that offensive line shows up, we come out of Auburn with a 10-point win and eyes on a non-Legion Field bowl game.
So that leans me in the direction that Auburn is not nearly as good as its record indicates, and the people in Las Vegas tend to agree with the 12.5 points they're giving Auburn. But, Auburn does one thing really well, and that's not letting Nick Marshall throw and relying on running backs to make the offense move forward.
Texas A&M does not do much well on defense, especially against the run, where it is ranked 104th. But, they have the greatest crutch in college football in the form of Johnny Manziel, who is the most amazing player I have ever seen in person.
With him, it doesn't seem possible that Texas A&M could lose to a team without a good collection of talent, which Auburn doesn't have. A smattering, yes, but collection, no.
But for our purposes here, can A&M get enough out of its defense to make this a two-touchdown game? I say FIRMLY (so you know I'm serious) that they cannot. Auburn and points.
LSU (-8) at Ole Miss
Just please, no more injuries. And avoiding a demoralizing three or four-touchdown loss that's over the in second quarter would be pretty super too.
Given that the Ole Miss defensive line is a mess, no one is expecting much there, but if the offense can put together a second straight strong performance, I might make a small batch of Kool-Aid to serve for the last five games.
LSU to cover.
Arkansas at Alabama (-28)
Great moments in Arkansas/Alabama game history:
Alabama to cover.
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