Using Iron Eagle To Demonstrate What Will Happen To Cable/Satellite Providers If They Do Not Carry The SEC Network

Yesterday, the SEC announced it has nearly/mostly/firmhandshake agreed with a second cable/satellite provider in the form of Dish Network (PICK YAH SHOWS AND PUT EM IN THAH HOPPAH) to carry the network when it launches in August.  The other provider is AT&T U-Verse, which, based on my lack of knowledge and desire to find out, could be a third kind of provider, but whatever.  It agreed to carry the network prior to the launch announcement a few months back.

Though the Dish agreement is significant (but do you know anyone who has Dish?), Comcast, Time Warner, and DirecTV, have yet to do business with the SEC Network.  Mostly because apparently ESPN/SEC wants to charge these companies $1.30 per subscriber living in the SEC "footprint", which would make it the most expensive college network IN THE WORLD (out of three).

And since cable/satellite companies hate parting with tiny slices of their 700% profit margins, the fight over this fee will carry on deep into the summer, and possibly much longer than that.  DirecTV is currently in an extended staring contest with the Pac-12 over carrying its network, and will most likely never carry it unless the Pac-12 comes down on its subscriber fee.

Of course, they won't because they've moved deep enough into the argument that you NEVER admit you were wrong, even if you are.  You've invested this much time and effort, can't let all that spite go to waste!

Outside of college football junkies with DirecTV (what a fine sliver of the population it is), there has been little to no outrage over missing out on the Pac-12 Network.  That's because people in the Pac-12 Network footprint either don't care or are unaware there is even that option because the surfing/winery/craft beer emporium/outdoors doesn't run itself (as you can see, I am VERY literate in Pac-12 footprint culture).

In the SEC footprint, that kind of attitude will not exist among the people.  If Charles from Reeltown can't see the Tide kick the will to exist out of North Texas because some greedy sonsabitches won't put 'em in his living room on the teevee, well, HELL IS COMING TO YOUR DOORSTEP, CABLE/SATELLITE PROVIDER.

You better believe that Charles from Reeltown, singing hog hat lady, Florida Man, and friends will pool their resources and bring your headquarters and your company TO THE GROUND.  For a visual of what that will be like, we turn to the work of Doug Masters and Chappy in Iron Eagle:

NOTHING BESIDE REMAINS.  ROUND THE DECAY
OF THAT COLOSSAL WRECK, BOUNDLESS AND BARE,
THE LONE AND LEVEL SANDS STRETCH FAR AWAY.

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