Inspired by the fine work of Monte Kiffin and his staff at NC State in 1980, and fueled by hours of free time, as depositing checks only takes up about 20 minutes out of his day, Gene Chizik has made a push to get back into coaching, while looking good doing it.
Chizik spent twos and threes of hours on the phone assembling his dream coaching staff, trying to convince all of them that if the staff was already formed, a place like, say, UAB wouldn’t have to do any more work than is necessary to survive, and would hire them on the spot. After the first 45 minutes of calls, Chizik’s prospects of recruiting the staff seemed dim.
But, once he realized his number was showing up on caller IDs as “Cleveland Browns”, he switched phones and was then able to get through to his guys. Now, he’s got his staff assembled and waiting for that phone call that will bring them all employment.
From left to right:
John L. Smith – Towel-waver, Fire Marshall
Mike DuBose – Defensive backs, office administrator
Sylvester Croom – Special teams, wherever he can do the least amount of damage
Phil Fulmer – Offensive coordinator, plotter of impending coup
Gene Chizik – MAN IN CHARGE
Houston Nutt – Quarterbacks killer, calls plays on a channel no one else is listening to
Ed Orgeron – Defensive line, dining coordinator
Ron Zook – Linebackers, customer service
Joe Lee Dunn – Defensive coordinator, sock racist
Though they don’t yet have a team to coach, Vegas has already made them a three and a half-point favorite over Florida.
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