Though we’ve never received an explanation as to why he’s in New Mexico, Houston Nutt is there, counting his money and letting his voice be heard without saying anything. Through the power of filling out thousands of surveys, he has let the country know that the state of New Mexico cares not for Ole Miss.
According to a survey distributed by the Internet (so you KNOW it’s legit), Ole Miss is the most hated college football team in two states. One is Alabama, though given that state’s dominance of Ole Miss, they should always love us, and the other is the Land of Enchantment – New Mexico.
It’s clear that Houston Nutt is behind this bizarre result, as Ole Miss has only taken one trip west of Texas, and that was to lose to Wyoming (WHAT A GAME AND A REAL GOOD TIME THAT WAS). The only question that remains is how did he, a man with little to no plan ever, pull it off?
Since the survey only allowed a person to take it once*, he needed to develop 25,000 names (admittedly a rough estimate by me) so he could stack the ballot box with Ole Miss responses. And he did just that, mostly because he has nothing to do and seriously, WHY IS HE IN NEW MEXICO?
Here are some of the names he used to get Ole Miss to the top of New Mexico’s most hated:
Houston Nutt
Houston Nutt II
Houston Nutt III
Houston Nutt IV
Houston Nutt V
Houston Nutt VI
Houston Nutt VII
Houston Nutt VIII
Houston Nutt IX
Houston Nutt X
Houston Nutt XI
Houston Nutt XII
Houston Nutt XIII
Houston Nutt XIV
Houston Nutt XV
Houston Nutt XVI
Houston Nutt XVII
Houston Nutt XVIII
Houston Nutt XIX
Houston Nutt XX
Houston Nutt XXI
Houston Nutt XXII
Houston Nutt XXIII
Houston Nutt XXIV
Houston Nutt XXV
Houston Nutt XXVI
Houston Nutt XXVII
Houston Nutt XXVIII
Houston Nutt XXIX
Houston Nutt XXX
Houston Nutt XXXI
Houston Nutt XXXII
Houston Nutt XXXIII
Houston Nutt XXXIV
Houston Nutt XXXV
Houston Nutt XXXVI
Houston Nutt XXXVII
Houston Nutt XXXVIII
Houston Nutt XXXIX
Houston Nutt XL
Houston Nutt XLI
Houston Nutt XLII
Houston Nutt XLIII
Houston Nutt XLIV
Houston Nutt XLV
Houston Nutt XLVI
Houston Nutt XLVII
Houston Nutt XLVIII
Houston Nutt XLIX
Houston Nutt L
(fast forward)
(still fast forwarding)
(seriously, we’re on 4X speed, this should be faster)
(man, commercials suck)
(what was that? oh well, too far along to go back and look)
Houston Nutt MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM**
Unfortunately, the creator of the survey suspected some irregularities and fixed some of the stuffed ballots, which removed Ole Miss from the top spot in New Mexico. But still a valiant effort by a coach not known for making any effort.
*No idea if this is true
**Definitely not the Roman numeral for 25,000, but it makes sense to Houston, plus it sounds like he is delicious
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