Taking place every Thursday (ALLEGEDLY), I take a look at each game, make a few BOLDHOTTAKE predictions, then declare on which side of the point spread I will place myself. The twist this year is that I’m going to pretend that $4 million of Houston Nutt’s lump sum buyout from Ole Miss, which totaled $4.35 million, was given to me by Nutt for the purposes of “exciting investment opportunities” (Nutt is keeping the last $350k for expansion of the Cotton Bowl wing of his New Mexico home).
For each game, I’ll wager $25,000 because that seems like a wildly reckless bet, yet one Houston would be okay with, and we’ll see how much money I add to his empire, or how much I lose and force him to become the running backs coach at New Mexico (he’ll probably do this anyway).
OFF WE GO.
Last week: 4-3
Season: 20-13
Money earned: $175,000
Houston Nutt’s fortune: $4,175,000
Houston can use some of this money to clear his good name in the ongoing NCAA investigation into whatever it was he was doing poorly at Ole Miss.
Florida at Tennessee (-2.5)
Prediction(s): Tennessee is still too infected with large amounts of sputtering, so it will probably be too difficult for them to totally destroy Florida’s parade of sadness. HOWEVER, should they get some help from Will Muschamp’s football-challenged group and win by three or four touchdowns, we could be on Full Fired Coach Alert.
Seems shocking that the coach-in-waiting to Mack Brown could be in trouble, but if he’s anything like his old boss, he’ll find a way to hang on for years without really doing his job. Though he won’t win, he will prevent a firing next week.
Bet: Tennessee to cover
Texas A&M at Mississippi State (-2.5)
Prediction(s): The Kang will receive 13 standing ovations (one for each of his Starkville seasons), whether you turn your head the north, east, south, or west, you will see maroon, Dak Prescott will take many a stroll through A&M’s defense, and during their long travels back to Texas, A&M fans will point out Texas would’ve lost to Mississippi State way worse than they did.
Bet: Mississippi State to cover
Alabama (-6) at Ole Miss
Prediction(s): In order for Ole Miss to win, we’ll require the usual turnovers underdogs need to pull upsets, plus a running game that scratches its way to 80-ish yards rushing. Nothing great, but something that doesn’t place 100% of the offensive burden on Dr. Bo.
Let’s review some film to show you what Ole Miss’ guards need to be able to do to make this happen:
/looks up games on YouTube
/watches one of the videos over on the side
/WHAT A WASTE OF TIME HOW IS THIS RELATED TO MY SEARCH
/back to Ole Miss game video
/sees the pulling and general abilities of Ole Miss’ interior line
/BACK AND TO THE LEFT, BACK AND TO THE LEFT, BACK AND TO THE LEFT
I WOULD LIKE TO PLACE AN ORDER FOR MORE TURNOVERS PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
Bet: Alabama to cover
Vanderbilt at Georgia (-33.5)
Prediction(s): A bold prediction here, but, and I’ve really dwelt on this for some time, I don’t think Vanderbilt is going to play well.
Bet: Georgia to cover
LSU at Auburn (-8)
Prediction(s): Remember the LSU/Mississippi State game? This will be The Godfather: Part II to that game, but without all the flashbacks because that would get really confusing in a football game. Especially when it wouldn’t be the same teams playing.
Though, flashbacks of Jamie Howard throwing interceptions or that Auburn library burning during one LSU/Auburn game would be pretty cool.
Bet: Auburn to cover
South Carolina (-4) at Kentucky
Prediction(s): Usually when the South Carolina version of Steve Spurrier faces Kentucky, it’s after a really big win and everyone is loving them some South Carolina. Then the Gamecocks go out and do their best to lose to Kentucky (and sometimes do!).
This time, South Carolina is coming off a disaster at home and only has the distraction of a bad defense and an offense that sort of drives around roundabouts for hours at a time. SO THINGS ARE LOOKING UP FOR THEM.
Bet: South Carolina to cover
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