Taking place every Thursday (ALLEGEDLY), I take a look at each game, make a few BOLDHOTTAKE predictions, then declare on which side of the point spread I will place myself. The twist this year is that I’m going to pretend that $4 million of Houston Nutt’s lump sum buyout from Ole Miss, which totaled $4.35 million, was given to me by Nutt for the purposes of “exciting investment opportunities” (Nutt is keeping the last $350k for expansion of the Cotton Bowl wing of his New Mexico home).
For each game, I’ll wager $25,000 because that seems like a wildly reckless bet, yet one Houston would be okay with, and we’ll see how much money I add to his empire, or how much I lose and force him to become the running backs coach at New Mexico (he’ll probably do this anyway).
OFF WE GO.
Last week: 1-3
Season: 33-34
Money earned: -$25,000
Houston Nutt’s fortune: $3,975,000
Much like the start of the 2010 Ole Miss football season, these picks are a swiftly sinking ship. Though, it is nice to imagine what it would be like to steal from Houston Nutt.
South Carolina at Florida (-7)
Reading Steve Spurrier quotes over the last few weeks, and one gets the impression that he’s not having a REAL GOOD TIME this year. His defense can’t stop anyone, he’s lost to Kentucky and Tennessee, and he’s been reduced to giving one-minute post-game press conferences.
On the other side, Will Muschamp is still screaming, but it’s less rage-screaming and more screaming because Muschamp communicates best through screaming. His team currently sits at 5-3 and is a win away from Birmingham or Shreveport (had the Idaho game not been cancelled, they’d already be there).
And with games against South Carolina, Eastern Kentucky, and Florida State (TALKIN’ BOUT THE NOLES AROUND HERE), he’s looking at a good chance of going 7-4 and, incredibly, returning to Gainesville as Florida’s head football coach in 2015. I don’t understand why he would be brought back, even if he does get to 7-4, because a school like Florida should never go losing season and Duck Commander Bowl in back-to-back seasons, and, aside from the last two games, his team has looked debris swirling across a soccer field in South America.
But administrators will always administrate and find a way to make the decision that makes the least amount of sense. Though, to be fair, the sweet duck blind they get from the bowl game will probably cloud their judgment.
Bet: South Carolina and the points
Mississippi State at Alabama (-8.5)
Pretty simple maths involved here: if Mississippi State wins (and assuming they beat Vanderbilt), they go to Atlanta and have a very good chance of making the playoff. If they lose here, ENGAGE INSANE TIEBREAKER SCENARIO POSSIBILITIES.
In order to win, they’ll need Dak Prescott to not only run well, which isn’t a stretch, but consistently throw passes to his team and not the ground or Alabama. He hasn’t been bad at that, but his passing performances in the stretch of Auburn, Kentucky, and Arkansas left some spacious room for improvement.
If he throws a pair of interceptions and his line can’t pass block, like they couldn’t against Kentucky, then it’s probably going to be difficult for State to win. Alabama’s run defense is good enough that offenses are always forced to start throwing at some point.
Even LSU, a team that enjoys throwing with Anthony Jennings as much as the LSU student section enjoys Nick Saban, was forced to throw 26 times. State’s running game is more diverse than LSU’s, which will be of benefit, but Prescott will have to throw more than State wants him to do so.
As for THA TAHD, if the Bryant-Denny version of their offense shows up, putting points on State shouldn’t be a problem, assuming they adequately handle the State defensive line. That defensive line is good enough that it hides the flaws of the back seven of the defense, so if it’s controlled, points and yards should come in good quantities. If not, the shouting about Lane Kiffin will be loud and extreme.
Barring one side sparking an avalanche of turnovers, I don’t see how either team will be able to get some significant separation.
Bet: Mississippi State and the points
Kentucky at Tennessee (-8.5)
At the end of Saturday, October 11, Kentucky sat at 5-1. Today, Kentucky sits at 5-5, with games against Tennessee and Louisville remaining.
SHREVEPORT/MEMPHIS/BIRMINGHAM ARE ALL ON THE LINE, KENTUCKY. DARE TO DREAM OF SITTING IN FROZEN STANDS WHILE PLAYING CENTRAL FLORIDA OR BOSTON COLLEGE IN THE MIDDLE OF A TUESDAY AFTERNOON.
Bet: Kentucky and the points
Auburn (-2.5) at Georgia
There is no point in discussing Georgia with any degree of depth. WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY’LL DO NEXT.
My only hope is that they win, which is one of the ingredients for Ole Miss’ distant chance of winning the West, and cause Auburn as much pain as possible, though not enough pain that Auburn is worthless against Alabama, because Ole Miss needs them to win that game. Oh, the sweet hopes of an INSANE PERSON.
Bet: Georgia and the points
Missouri at Texas A&M (-4.5)
Missouri controls where its season will end, which means Indiana still has a shot to win the SEC East. Go Hoosiers!
More importantly, the other day I saw a city landscape worker chopping through some weeds with a machete. It reminded me of one summer when I worked with a landscaping crew and got to frequently use a machete.
OH THE POWER OF A MACHETE IN YOUR HAND. Feel like a badass? CHECK. Look like a badass? DOUBLE CHECK*. Command the respect of people driving by? YOU KNOW IT.
If I wasn’t so sure I’d slice apart a major artery in my leg, I’d buy a machete to keep around the house.
*Not the insurance discount thing
Bet: Texas A&M to cover
LSU at Arkansas (-2)
I said it yesterday, but I really can’t wait to see a bundled up Bert. Or maybe even Les Miles running some scarf game out there. OR EARMUFFS.
While my interest in how the coaches dress for cold weather cannot be matched, I would like to see this game take a shot at cracking 120 combined rushing attempts.
Bet: LSU and the points
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