I’ll have to make this quick for two reasons. One, I have actual important stuff to to (like the kind you are paid money to do), and two, any time spent typing takes away from time spent trying to stay warm (BAN COLD WEATHER).
In case you missed it yesterday due to stress that comes from thinking about how cold you were going to be today, Georgia went out and hired Brian Schottenheimer (yes, THE Brian Schottenheimer) to be its new offensive coordinator/quarterbacks coach. Schottenheimer replaces the departed Mike Bobo, who left to go RUN THE DANG BALL as head coach at Colorado State.
While Bobo was the target of many a golf course rant from Georgia fans, he seemed to turn the corner in the last few years, with his offense finishing 28th, 17th, and 22nd from 2012-2014, respectively, in total offense (after a rough start of 74th, 22nd, 75th, 56th, and 39th from 2007 to 2011). His replacement has coordinated offenses in the NFL since 2006, and has produced, to put it mildly, offenses that excel at bringing on the punt team.
BEHOLD, Brian Schottenheimer’s offenses in total offense rankings:
New York Jets
2006 25th
2007 26th
2008 16th
2009 20th
2010 11th
2011 25th
St. Louis Rams
2012 23rd
2013 30th
2014 28th
That’s nine seasons in charge of directing offenses with exactly two finishes in the top half of the league and seven finishes at 20th or worse. Throw in the last time Schottenheimer coached in college was in 2000 as USC’s tight ends coach under Paul Hackett, who was fired at the end of that season, and it seems like Mark Richt is trolling all fans of his team (Schottenheimer’s only other college coaching experience was one year as Syracuse’s WRs coach in 1999).
Of course, as Spencer Hall pointed out yesterday, warming ourselves by the fire of what appears to be a wonderfully horrible choice will no doubt lead to Georgia averaging 45 points a game next year (minus the standard two games they inexplicably lose). But until that time arrives, gather around, friends. The fire is raging at a degree that can only be achieved by delight in others’ questionable-at-best choices, and it will warm your bones and soul on this cold day.
Yes, that is Nick Cage doing his prison workout in ‘Con Air’. It was his day of birth yesterday and I failed miserably in giving it the recognition it deserves, so that image is my apology and recognition.
I enjoy the guard sitting out in the hall reading the newspaper. Apparently, this prison has no guard breakroom, so guards are forced to take their breaks in front of inmates who yell horrible things at them, while all they’re trying to do is catch up on what’s happening in their corner of the world.
An absurd workplace condition. The guard’s union leader should be fired for being asleep at the wheel.
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