Vaya Con Dios, Another Year Of College Football

PaulAllen

As we watch the movers pack the last of Florida State’s stuff to make room for the furniture of our new scarlet and gray overlords from Columbus, it’s once again time to say goodbye to our friend that has sustained us since the end of August. Per the tradition and belief around here, college football is getting into the jeep with Rosie and driving away into the Mexican desert to begin its surfing travels around the world for roughly the next nine months.

Oh, the places it will go while we are left to wade through months of college basketball, NBA regular season, college baseball, and, UGH, professional baseball. Though we may not want to let it go and push through the darkness alone, the schedule dictates that we must. Plus, six or seven months of college football would reduce all physical and mental health to charred rubble.

And so we let it go.

(I’m fully aware that neither of these analogies make any sense, but THIS IS MY SHOW and I happen to want to get an apartment those quotes and will post them here every year until I finally stop doing this.)

Until the end of August, rest, dear friends, rest. Do not be consumed by the absurdity of recruiting (and PLEASE NO TWEETING AT RECRUITS) or the haunting thought that your offensive line’s inadequacies are going to crush any hope of another 9-ish-win season in 2015, even if someone who spells your school’s nickname “REBAL” turns out to be pretty good and avoids all the sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll of Oxford.

Avoid these traps as best you can. But seriously, GET IT IN GEAR, OFFENSIVE LINE. MY FRAGILE MIND CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU KILLING ANOTHER SEASON.

Finally (and the people said, “AMEN”), I leave you with a video that shouldn’t exist, but for some reason a brave Internet soul took the time to make it, and it lives here at the end of every season.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghI39K8vp6w?rel=0]

I mean, THE OPENING SEQUENCE. SWEET MERCY.

 

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