If this were 1994, we’d have our own magazine. At least that’s what I’m told people did back then. Read… Actual, um, paper or something. And yes, since the Rangers won the Cup in ’94 there would be so much Messier vitriol in it, I would be completely insufferable and you would never buy it. BUT ANYWAY, we would totally put out monthly magazines and sell them on street corners for 10 bucks a pop and not think twice that might be weird or anything. Because standing creepily on streetcorners during the day wasn’t at all what we were doing back then. No, no. Heh… Uhhhh… Luckily now there’s the internet and it’s totally not weird for us to just talk to you but now we do it for free. So that’s a win for you and a loss for us. That’s some garbage, 21ST CENTURY, YOU ASS.
So here’s my analysis of the important issues of the day crammed into a magazine cover which we’ll never publish because not only will we never find a publisher for that half-finished book about lost youth on the external hard drive but if you think they’d ever give us even a measly little magazine deal you’re crazy.
Kudos to the legendary EDSBS Weekly, with the original idea.
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