The Trade Deadline drinking game

Today is the trade deadline, coming up at 3PM ET and 2PM here in the correct time zone, which means I really need you to get liquored up on a Monday morning, preferably by watching NHL Network and drinking along with transaction news. It’s the best use of your time. 
Most years, I kvetch over the fact that my team, the Wild hasn’t made any moves yet, but they HAVE. They made a move completely fleecing the New Jersey Devils yesterday. No matter what happens today, I will probably be happy with what the Wild do no matter what because of that. Or because of the grain alcohol coursing through my veins. Whatever. Now, here is how I am going to get my morning buzz on. And how YOU should do it as well.

DRINK

… For every player moved, twice for every draft pick. Standard trade day rule.

… Every time the phrase “breaking news” is uttered, three times when it is for a story more than a half hour old. 

… Whenever there is an awkward pause while someone on screen presses an audio device to his ear to listen to a producer

… For each instance of a player asked how they feel, or how they are feeling or whatever. It will be asked many times today. Trust me.

… Each time someone talks about how quiet the deadline has been. It will happen, then 14 trades will happen at once. Just like every year.

And naturally, drink copiously when your team makes a trade. It will either be a bad deal, a white flag deal or just not enough to put your team over the edge. Even if it isn’t one of those things, you should still drink. At that point, it’s a celebration.

Happy deadline!