Getting to Know … Phil Loadholt

The NFL Draft was this past weekend and after the dust had settled, the Minnesota Vikings were able to walk away with five separate players that could readily contribute to the team. In our week long effort to introduce all five individuals, we’ll continue by getting to know former Oklahoma Offensive Tackle and the Vikings second round pick, Phil Loadholt a bit better … Name: Phil Loadholt is Phil Loadholt. Phil Loadholt’s mother call Phil Loadholt that. Age: Phil Loadholt is 23 years young, but understands universe more than 23 years. College and college position: Phil Loadholt played for Oklahoma Sooners, also known as Oklahoma Dirt Burglars. It is same school Phil Loadholt’s new teammate Adrian Peterson, or Purple Jesus, went to. Phil Loadholt played offensive line, left tackle, and projects to right tackle and resident Hulk with the Vikings.

Thoughts on the Vikings: Phil Loadholt likes Vikings. Phil Loadholt thinks that Vikings are better than pirates, because Vikings do more pillaging and raping. They are feared more than pirates. Pirates cannot be trusted. Phil Loadholt supposes that you cannot trust a Viking either, but people are not expected to trust Vikings. Pirates are more shifty. Phil Loadholt does not like them. First feeling when you got drafted: Phil Loadholt wanted to smash something, because lazy agent told Phil Loadholt that Phil Loadholt would maybe be drafted in first round of NFL draft. Normal small people do not understand, but that is a difference of millions of dollars for a person like Phil Loadholt. Phil Loadholt went into rage mode, broke a coffee table, tore down a tree, but then calmed when Phil Loadholt realized that being drafted where Phil Loadholt did get drafted was maybe good thing. Phil Loadholt plays with Adrian Peterson now, Purple Jesus, so Phil Loadholt’s job is easier. First thing you’ll buy with your check: Phil Loadholt is not sure. Might finally buy bed big enough to fit Phil Loadholt, so Phil Loadholt’s feet do not hang off the end of tiny bed. Phil Loadholt may also buy new pants that fit Phil Loadholt. Phil Loadholt does not like looking like Phil Loadholt is always ready for a flood. Thinks it is silly. There are not many floods in Oklahoma, so why prepare for them? What about Minnesota? Many floods there? Phil Loadholt does not know, but will find out. Jersey number selection: Phil Loadholt currently assigned jersey number 71. In NFL, players have certain numbers they must wear. For big linemen, they give big numbers. Does not make sense. Looks fat. Phil Loadholt took two thinnest numbers allowed for position and decided to wear those. Phil Loadholt does not know if it helps to make Phil Loadholt look thinner or not. Might just be a psychological benefit. Playing against Percy Harvin in NCAA Championship: Phil Loadholt learn that other new teammate is Percy Harvin, shifty rodent from Florida. Phil Loadholt have mixed emotions concerning Harvin. Phil Loadholt understand. This player very good, but is also a nuisance. Small, fast, rangy. Hard to catch and bring down. Good truths, now that Harvin play with Phil Loadholt, but when playing against Phil Loadholt, Phil Loadholt did not like. Had to treat him like rat. Set up traps for him with cheese, but when player is from Florida, you lay out cut off jean shorts and it attracts person better than food. Or NASCAR photo. Like stabbing cattle in a barrel. You were flagged for a lot of penalties in college: Yes, Phil Loadholt ashamed of penalties in college. When player is six feet, eight inches tall, it takes long time for sound to travel to ears. Phil Loadholt try to compensate by anticipating snap count. Sometimes, called offsides, sometimes not. But it made Phil Loadholt upset. You would not like Phil Loadholt when Phil Loadholt is upset … On concerns about your pass protection ability: Concerns unfounded. Phil Loadholt’s feet work can improve, yes, but when arms are as long as Phil Loadholt’s, no person can get around Phil Loadholt. Phil Loadholt could actually play both tackle and guard positions, if NFL let Phil Loadholt do so, and just put arms out. It be like welcoming bear hug for at least three people rushing quarterback, before Phil Loadholt goes into rage mode again and pulverizes defenders. Arrested once for suspicion of a DUI?: Suspicion, yes, but conviction no. Police saw beer can in Phil Loadholt’s car. Police man thought Phil Loadholt was drinking and was drunk. “Not drunk sir”, Phil Loadholt says. “Only had five beers, just thirsty.” Police man could not believe Phil Loadholt was not drunk, but breathalyzer agreed with Phil Loadholt. Listen, when you are big as Phil Loadholt, you could drink the blood of Purple Jesus for weeks and not catch a buzz. All a misunderstanding. Phil Loadholt will drive new teammates Jan around, and still drink more than An. No worries.

Parting words: Phil Loadholt is glad for opportunity to play for Vikings and not pirates, or buccaneers. Will do homework now to find out things Phil Loadholt can hate about Wisconsin, bears, and lions that will help resident Hulk go into rage mode … Hm. Lots of animals in new teams that Phil Loadholt will face. Good. Phil Loadholt is hungry.