As players have started showing up in Mankato for the opening of Vikings training camp, there has thus far been one notable absence; 22 pick of the first round Percy Harvin has yet to sign his rookie contract. As it currently stands, picks 21 and 23 have already signed with their respective teams, giving Vikings cap guru Rob Brzezinski an idea of the appropriate contract value that other picks are receiving. There has been one major hang up though that Harvin’s agent Joel Segal has been pushing for. PJD recently sat in on some of the contract negotiations between Brzezinski and Segal and we bring you the most recent news …
Rob Brzezinski: Hey Joel, I’m glad we can continue to work on this contract for Percy. I know that many of the Vikings players and personnel have started to show up in Mankato last night and this morning and they are all anticipating the arrival of your client. Hopefully, the sooner we can bang this contract out the sooner he can show everyone down there what he’s got in store for them in 2009.
Joel Segal: It’s my pleasure to continue to work on this with you Rob. What is your latest offer?
RB: Well, if you remember, last night we offered you guys a five year contract worth approximately $13.2 million dollars with $7.5 million guaranteed. We are willing to look into a roster bonus his first season upwards of $800,000 and add in some performance based incentives that could push that figure closer to a million based on what he does in 2009. Right now, we’re willing to up his base salary $900,000 with incentives with a total value of $13.5 million. Thoughts?
JS: That’s a fair offer Rob, I’m not going to lie about that. The concern that my client and I have is not so much over the overall contract value, it’s about the incentives and roster bonuses. The Vikings organization keeps mentioning that they are willing to pay cash for that bonus, but we’ve also made it clear that Percy would much rather have that worth be presented to him directly in equivalent wealth of marijuana.
RB: I’m sorry?
JS: Marijuana, Rob. It’s a narcotic. You know, sticky green? Ganja? Maybe a little chronic? Mary Jane? The great equalizer? My client appreciates the dollar value of the roster bonus that you are offering him, but he if you really want to get this contract done and have him in camp sooner than later, simply convert that bonus to tangible, tangy, red haired and crystallized weed and you guys have yourself a deal.
RB: Uh, Joel … I’m not so sure we can do that. Coach Childress has a rather strict character policy for the team and we’ve already taken one chance on Percy just by drafting him. I mean, he fell to us at 22 in the draft because other teams were concerned about his character. And then when he missed the rookie mini camps this spring and the Rookie Symposium this summer, further concerns were raised by both the local and national media. Having a roster bonus presented to a player in bags of pot would not only be terrible illegal, it would also probably end up in Percy’s suspension from the league. And the Vikings organization would really rather have him on the field.
JS: Oh, and Percy wants to be there Rob, he really does. But he has to look out for himself. I’m sure you can understand that, can’t you? You’re a master negotiator. You’ve fixed poison pills for Steve Hutchinson and worked magic with elder players Pat Williams and Antoine Winfield. Are you sure you can’t wave your magician wand a little more for Percy? It would really guarantee his camp arrival …
RB: … Well, you’re right. I am technically a contract genius. I just want to state this again so we’re on the same page though, the Vikings cannot be supplying players with recreational marijuana. Now … Let’s say something terribly unfortunate were to happen, like after we “sign” this contract and Percy takes his physical that he ends up with a mild case of glaucoma? And since the NFL has notoriously bad medical coverage, the team reaches an agreement with him to supply medicinal marijuana. Does that sound like something Percy could agree to?
JS: You’re a smart man Rob. Let’s call him up and see what he says. (Picks up phone. Dials Harvin’s number.) Hey Percy, I’m sitting here with Rob Brzezinski, the contract wiz for the Vikes. Didn’t I hear that you were coming down with a bad case of glaucoma recently and needed some medicinal marijuana to clear that up? … Oh you are! Well, I think we may have just figured out a contract for you then. … Yes, head on down to Mankato and we’ll see you there…. Bye. (Hangs up.) Sounds like we have a deal then, Rob.
RB: Great news, Joel! Let’s sign this paper work up and Percy can expect his first “roster bonus check” on his doorstep when the season starts.
JS: Wonderful. Great doing business with you. Take care now.
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