By now everyone has heard that backbreaking and self whoring quarterback that I have to unfortunately claim as a Minnesota Vikings, Brett Favre, is going to make his first appearance and public statements since losing the NFC Championship game in epic fashion on a show that only Hitler could love, The Tonight Show with that cock sucking Jay Leno. Anyway, if you haven’t been squealing inside your head for a week now like a little bitch that jerks it to Favre in the shower every morning, there may be even more incentive to watch. While I don’t claim to actually know anything about anything, I have had individuals that I don’t think would lie for fun to me claim that Favre is going to be making a public statement about his intentions to, yes, return to the Vikings in 2010.
Is this bullshit? Will Favre actually do that? Why would you listen to me anyway? I’m just a dipshit blogger that has no inside sources and is probably ugly and pimple laced. True. But, the individual who’s alerted me to this isn’t an asshole and has no real reason to make ridiculous shit like this up. Apparently he knows someone who knows someone, but so does every loud mouth on a message board. So take it for what it’s worth, and at the very least maybe this sways your final opinion as to whether you’ll become a masochist Thursday night and put yourself through Leno’s monologue.
Questions still remain though, namely, if this is true, why the hell would Favre do this? We’ll lay out our reasons of thinking why this is semi plausible (semi makes me think of a semi-chub … totally unrelated) after the jump …
– Brett Favre is an attention grabbing whore. Announcing his intent to return once more for one more go around wouldn’t be good enough for him to do so to the local media. And he’s got some flaccid anti-hard on for major media members, despite their seeming willingness to constantly fellate him. So, just like last season when he went on Joe Buck Live and talked about possibly returning – referring to Favre and the Vikings as “we” – Favre will take another opportunity to put himself in the spotlight. Hopefully Jay doesn’t “pick” on him at the end of the segment … Eh?! Anyone?! … Didn’t think so.
– The NFL’s free agency period starts Thursday night. It’s not obnoxious to think that Favre would announce his intent to return as an effort to spur on-the-fence free agents to decide to sign with the Vikings. The Tonight Show For Imbeciles will be filmed earlier in the day, so if anyone ends up going and has access to this thing called “the internet”, chances are his announcement will be all over Twitter, blogs, Facepages and what have you by the time free agency begins at 11:01 PM Central on Thursday. This would give players and agents time to contact the Vikings in the beginning weeks to start negotiations to come to the Vikings. This is where a person like Westbrook, some sexy offensive linemen that doesn’t suck like McKinnie, or cornerback help may be brought in.
– What I don’t get is why he would make an announcement this early in the offseason. Sure, saying something before the draft lets the Vikings know what they need to do quarterback wise there, but announcing his return this early also means that some people are going to expect him to be at training camp. While this is the impression on the surface, I think there has been enough talk from Vikings players that essentially have said that if Favre wants to skip the entire thing and show up to the team headquarters by like the third preseason game again then no one will care. We’re kind of all at a point where we know Brett Favre plays by his own rules, and if he wins games then no one really cares all that much. So I think this factor probably doesn’t play into everything as much as people would think.
Regardless of what he does though, no one is going to believe him until the first snap of the regular season. He could change his mind a billion god damn times and no one will bat an eyelash. So even if he makes an announcement Thursday, let’s all take it with a grain of salt and still hope that the Vikings try to draft a franchise quarterback this year (I still like Bradford, despite what you haters say) so we don’t have to go through this shit AGAIN next year.
So there you go. Now feel free to call me a lying asshole.
Add The Sports Daily to your Google News Feed!
