You Know he Can Spend More Money …

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Monday night Minnesota Vikings owner Zygi Wilf was at the Mall of America. I assumed it was because he wanted to go on the Log Chute ride, which is still fucking awesome and I don’t care how old you are. But no, he was instead there to watch a theatrical release of the Vikings new DVD that is being released TODAY called “History of the Minnesota Vikings”. It’s part of their 50th anniversary season, and I am assuming that the movie involves a whole lot of tears and losses.

Regardless, this isn’t about a Vikings movie we don’t want to watch. This is about Wilf’s quote that he offered to the media where he talked about the state of the team and, despite an opening night loss, is still SUPER confident in this Vikings team:

Zygi Wilf spoke to reporters for a few minutes before the premiere and it was obvious a season-opening loss to the New Orleans Saints did not dampen his enthusiasm or expectations for the season.

“We’ve built a team that we expect to go all the way,” he said. “We’re not holding back right now. We’re in it for the whole match.”

Asked about his sense of urgency after getting Brett Favre back for one more season, Wilf said: “We’ve built our team to be at this point. We feel that we’re all in. We’re going to try our best to fulfill our goal. So we’re all in.”

Now, I understand some of my readers are FAS babies, so let me explain very clearly what Wilf has done to go all in on this team, just so we’re all on the same page …

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1. This is a man who’s genius plan at quarterback was to financially back a 41 year old quarterback who has the ankles as complex as the internal workings of a Grandfather clock. Oh, and that quarterback also threw an interception that must have felt, for a Jew like Wilf, someone just stole your coin purse. Eeeeee … Sure, this ageless wonder also GOT your shitty team to that point, but now we’re splitting hairs.

2. This TEAM’s big idea of an addition this offseason, a move to really push this franchise to the next step, was to draft a white running back instead of almost signing an aging Ladainies Tomlinson. Would LT have been a better move? Should Wilf have thrown more money at him to really pressure him to sign? I would have blown my load if it would have happened, so I would have to say yes. But white running back to ME just screams ALL IN. I mean, all four inches that I’m sure he has …

3. This is the owner that also gave Brad Childress an extension before he had ever won a playoff game, FYI. Also, Childress still has never won one without Brett Favre. Just keep that one in your back pocket, next to your collectible stripper cards.

4. This is also the team that went all in by letting their most versatile offensive linemen sign elsewhere in the offseason. Sure, you can’t keep everyone, but theoretically, if you lose someone in an area that is considered a weakness anyway, maybe you should address it in another form outside of a 14th round draft pick? Was there REALLY no other offensive line option ANYWHERE in the NFL through either trade, signing, waiver wire, under the table handjobs? Wilf definitely wasn’t trying hard enough.

5. I still also blame Wilf for the decision to change our uniforms to the current rapist clown outfits they have now. Fucking idiot.

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With that being said, I would cup Zygi’s balls with freshly soaped hands if he asked me to instead of ever have Red McCombs come back and own this team, but don’t fluff my junk by saying this team is all in when they still have more holes than a heroin junky. Even the coaches say they are always looking to improve the team.

In the future, the only time I want to see Zygi in public is when he’s lighting a Cuban hand rolled cigar in $100 bills by using his monocle and the sun to spark it. And when he’s helping hold up a new jersey for McNabb next year, or our other franchise quarterback which we’ve NEVER had it seems. Get on that Zygi, and stop watching movies.

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