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LOOKA DIS! The Minnesota Vikings announced on Monday afternoonish sometime, in an attempt to steal all the thunder away from Carmelo Anthony trade talk and dead presidents, that they had decided to use the franchise tag on Chad Greenway, a white linebacker that has been with the team since 2007, but has been white for much longer before that. The move was made before any type of new collective bargaining agreement had been reached between the NFL and the players, which apparently means that if thing fall through or if the CBA gets totally revamped that this franchise tag could be as important as Jonny Flynn on the Timberwolves. Regardless, it was a safe, precautionary move that will keep Greenway with the team for at least one more year (giving the Vikings an extended opportunity to try and work out a long term deal with him) while also paying him more than $10 million, which is what equals to the 120% pay raise franchised players are due. That’s ridiculous. Do you have any idea how many pair of RayBans that can buy?!?!
SO WHAT? The move is a pretty clear indicator that new head coach Leslie Frazier is pretty concerned about his defense, and that he views Greenway as a staple for years to come. Chad, despite being hampered by white people problems of slowness and probably talking like a nerd (in a quirky, cool way!), is probably one of the better picks the Vikings have made from the draft in the last 10 years or so. Outside of Purple Jesus, of course. Because really, that was just destiny. Greenway has shown improvement every year he’s been in the league becoming adept at both run and pass coverage. He’s also surprisingly durable (because white are always looking for excuses to take a sabbatical from work …), playing every single game he’s been available in during his career, and only not starting once, probably because Frazier was being racist at the time in 2008. In 2010, despite the general sucktitude of the team in 2010, Greenway was one positive as he wracked up 108 tackles on the year, which was far and away the highest toal on the team. He’ll be 28 heading into this year, which means the Vikings will probably look at locking him up long term for another four to five years, then bust his ass to the curb for a linebacker that actually has speed on the edge.
NOW WHAT? The move to franchise Greenway is telling for other players. We see that Ray Edwards wasn’t franchised, huh? Guess who wasn’t worth it to the defense! YOU GO BOX NOW! The other big option for the franchise tag also included Squid Rice, who seemed like a worthy candidate, but has also had an injury issue and a money hungry whore of an agent in Drew Rosenhaus that would make this whole ordeal of re-signing Rice a migraine that would make Percy weep, not just for the Vikings but any team out there. This opens the possibility of Rice walking for large money (Patriots, Chargers, Rams all seem like potential candidates) and, even worse, leaves the door open for the return of . Ugh. Could you image? I’ve already written him off for next year, assuming there is a next year. The Vikings COULD still use their transition tag, which according to my extensive research is different from the franchise tag in that it is an old wooden ship once used by pirates, giving the Vikings first right to ward off potential suitors like I will do with a shotgun if anyone comes knocking for my future daughter. She’s locked up until she’s 30. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that though, and that Squid tells Rosenhaus to stop being a cock taco for one day and let’s him sign an extension with the Vikings.
SO SAYS PURPLE JESUS: We here think the move is a fine one. We remain confident that the Viking will lock Greenway up longterm, providing a cornerstone at every level of the defense in Kevin Williams, Greenway, and Winfield for another year or so. That’s how you build a defense, and Frazier ain’t no inbred dummy. Greenway is his boy and he’s going to take care of him. He’s going to become the Purple Urlacher, calling our new quarterback a pussy, no doubt. And I’m totally fine with that. Also, the story is too good not for the Vikings to take care of Greenway. A local South Dakota kid, goes to college in Iowa, comes and plays for the pro team in Minnesota. It’ll be a heartwarming movie in 10 years that tells that part of the tale and then closes with how he was able to fight back from a devastating broken spine in 2011 to go on national tours talking about dedication and back research.
Truly gripping stuff. Congrats Greenway. You think it’s a good move?
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