I’m not really surprised that Squid Rice has apparently reached terms to head to Seattle and play with Darrell Bevel and TarVar Jumpass. I am for some reason though still disappointed.
Let’s look at this objectively, then start calling people names like an irrational dickface!
Squid and his fuck face agent Drew Choad-tits felt Rice deserved a ton of scratch. That’s fine. IF (a bit qualifier here) he plays the rest of his career like he did in 2010, yeah, he’s probably worth the five years, $41 million with $18.5 guaranteed. Well … probably not, actually. That’s a shit load of money, even for a quarterback. Whatever, one side felt he was worth that much and the Vikings likely didn’t. Even if they did, they knew they couldn’t commit that much money to one non-critical player at this time when they are essentially rebuilding. Fine. Let’s agree to disagree and part ways, which is pretty much what they did.
What does disappoint me is the fact that it still happened. The Vikings just traded for Donovan McNabb and have a very worthwhile long term option waiting in the wings in Pondexter. That’s long term stability, even if you think McNabb plays like a bag of dicks now. You’re wrong, he’ll be fine. Instead, Squid opted to go play for Bevel in Seattle with TarVar or Charlie Whitehurst throwing him passes. That’s obnoxious. Does he think that environment is really conducive to him being a productive player? Has he not been over-extending his arms for four years trying to catch jump balls thrown 17 yards behind him? This move clearly wasn’t about football. And I say that knowing that “football” really means “to the benefit of the football team which I root for.” I know, dumb.
The issue about Squid bending over backwards for the team with the most money is what’s frustrating, and part of what makes me so damn upset about this new CBA. Four year rookie contracts? That means players like Rice and Ray Gay are going to be switching teams faster than your mom wets panties when I walk into a room with a finely tailored suit coat. It’s bullshit. It’s bullshit to teams, franchises, fans, hopes, dreams and other players that are trying to play to win. Sure, every single NFLer is there to make some good money, and the majority of them all do. But there are some that I can objectively look at as a dumbass fan and be like “that guy actually enjoys playing football and understand what loyalty to brothers, teammates, coaches, cities, roots and fans is.” Kleinsausage gets that. Cris Carter gets it. Even that asshole the Land Baron understands it. Rice doesn’t, and it’s disappointing as hell, and makes me like football less.
I’m not really mad at him. It is what it is. I’m sure he enjoyed his time in Minnesota and will think fondly of it. But I can’t ever sit back and remember Rice like I 
remember someone like Randy Moss, someone who wanted to be a part of what I am; a Viking (unfortunately at times). Rice is that annoyingly talented guy at your office who comes in day one planning his next promotion, bitches about his boss a week later, and keeps telling you how he’s going to leave the first chance he gets. For four years. When he finally does leave, everyone feels bittersweet about it, but you end up being glad he’s gone. While many people probably liked him, and he was good for work, he was never a part of the team.
Do I think Rice wasn’t fully ever part of the team? … No … but he was more than willing to leave at his first chance to do so. And that stings. It stings largely because he turned his back on Minnesota, and because it leaves our team in shambles at the wide receiver position. #87 probably won’t be cut now and then our other option is Percy Harvin (thank god). Then? A whole lot of skid marks. Fuck.
Good luck in Seattle, Squid. You’ll join other great receivers who have had stellar one-year-wonders on previous teams like Deion Branch, Nate Burleson and TJ Houshmanzadeh. I hope that’s what you envision.
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