Vikings Make Solid Move, Ascend to Notch 1 in my Book

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Well, well. The Minnesota Vikings finally stopped acting like a bag of smashed testicles during this free agency period and completed a player signing which I agree with WHOLEHEARTEDLY. They announced on Monday that the team has come to terms with former Chicago Bear cornerback Zackary Bowman on a one-year contract to help fill out their defensive secondary.

As someone who not only followed Bowman’s career as a Nebraska Cornhusker from 2005 – 2007 when he wore number 1 and made an AMAZING interception in the back of the endzone against those dumbass Wolverines in the Alamo Bowl in 2005, but who has also been forced to watch the likes of Asher Allen, Frank Walker, Marcus Sherels, Lito Sheppard, Benny Sapp, Marcus McCauley, and MANY, many more night-walkers stumble around the playing field like they lost their brain, I for one cannot be happier that a semi-competent defensemen who is already familiar with the faulty Cover-2 system that our stupid coaches try to run, will come in to this team and likely not make me punch my own stomach when we have to play three cornerbacks.

Congrats, Zackary! Welcome to the (dysfunctional) family!

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WHO: Zackary Bowman, cornerback, formerly of the Chicago Bears in the NFL. He had his best season as a pro in 2009 where he played in all 16 games, starting 12, and finished with 55 tackles, six interceptions, and one forced fumble. Oddly enough, those are all numbers higher than Asher Allen can count. He was limited in 2010, however, playing in only 13 games, starting three, due to injury (I think, I don’t know, whatever, that was two years ago). Since that time, he never was able to climb out of Lovie Smith’s hot-box of trouble and regain his starting spot, and the Bears let him walk this offseason. AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN – WE GOT ‘EM!!

WHY: Clearly, he fits the profile of the type of free agents the Vikings are bringing in this year; Formerly has shown flashes of talent, maybe a slight injury history, coming off of their rookie or equally inexpensive contracts, still kind of young (sub-30ish, not almost-60-FAVRE), and to our knowledge don’t have any MORE charges of beating their girlfriends (which would exclude any Packer free agents, of course). He fits with what we’re doing, I guess, and on a one year contract (which he signed), it’s a low-risk, high-reward type deal, particularly if he returns to 2009 form where he’s a rangy ballhawk. I mean honestly … Can you think of the last defensive back player for the Vikings who has had over six interceptions? Winfield’s never been a interception machine … Griffin? I honestly have no idea. BOWMAN IS NEXT! The other benefit is that Bowman is a big cornerback. He’s listed as 6’1″, almost 200 pounds. Together with our own little backhanded, Chris Cook, if Bowman plays his role of covering receivers adequately in this defense, our retrofitted cornerbacks may actually have the speed AND size to match up against Greg Jennings, Calvin Johnson, and Brandon Marshall! …. Or not, because we still suck. Hahaha, that was so funny to dream about though!

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SO? As stated, I like the move. I like the potential, I like his pedigree, and chances are he’ll give us secrets about how the stupid Bears operate. Considering how stupid our coaching staff is as well, we’ll probably need all the help we can get. Nice move, Spielman. I’ll move you up a notch in my book. You are now at -17. Congrats.

And for reference to the awesome interception he made now, oh, six years ago or so, check out the ENTIRE Nebraska/Michigan bowl game on YouTube, and fast forward to the 1:57:00 mark (Yes, one hour, fifty seventh minute, and zero seconds mark), or there abouts. One foot in, over Mario Manningham (I think). NICE. Also, how do you get an entire game posted on YouTube? That’s nuts.

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