In what is easily a banner day in Minnesota Vikings history, punter Chris Kluwe took his shirt off and Tweeted a picture of himself. He looks like a hairy Bruce Lee. Now everyone’s life is complete.
He described it as “Day 6 of Operation Adrian Abs,” in which it sounds like the ultimate goal is to have abs like Adrian Peterson, aka Purple Jesus. I just don’t have the heart to tell Kluwe that this is folly, because women seem to like any and all players with their shirts off, and it’s great for organic search volume. But it’s probably a futile operation. There, I said it. And to a degree, Kluwe even agrees with me. I asked him:
And he responded much like you would think he should respond, that Purple Jesus is pretty much not human and probably could scare Bear Grylls enough to even squirt out a little poop in the wild:
But whatever. Kluwe looks SOLID, not just for a punter, but for a MAN. CROSSFIT, MOTHER FUCKERS! I’m doing a bit of Crossfit too, but I look like a well toned college girl who doesn’t even play intramurals, let alone a lithe beast like Kluwe. But that’s neither here nor there. What we should also be discussing is Kluwe’s recent Q&A session he partook in Wednesday night on Deadspin.
Kluwe was kind enough to sweat his nut sack to Silly Putty and answer several inane, offensive, and occasionally hilarious questions from the readers at Deadspin. I didn’t partake because I’m a horrible Vikings blogger I was busy downloading the new Tripping Icarus album that I haven’t listened to yet, but I did read through all of the questions and answers that followed. Here are some of our favorites:
Welp, I guess we found out who the culprit was in that case. I was way off in my prediction. I guess I’m kind of surprised by this. I know some guys that went to the Culinary Academy, and they don’t take shits in the seafood of star athletes. Anymore. That I know of. That Jared Allen is such a prankster!
I will consider this a raving success, even though I really had no real part in it.
I’m trying not to get the visual of a naked Chris Kluwe standing behind a King Sized bed with only his helmet on, lined up like he’s ready for a snap, and then just grabbing a pillow before he dives right in. But there it is, and I can’t get it out of my head, so enjoy your Friday everyone.
Yes.
All in all, the entire Q&A is a good read, so check it out while you’re waiting for this Friday to wind down and you can go home and drink yourself blind. In the meantime, I’m still going to work on fine tuning my questions so when I eventually ask Kluwe to do an interview for Purple Jesus Diaries that I don’t ask him, “How about kicking to Devin Hester, huh?”
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