This Packers/Vikings Rivalry Shirt Pretty Much Says It All

“Packers Retirement Home.”

You cheeky bastards.

As we covered earlier this week with the news that former Green Bay Packers linebacker Desmond Bishop may be leaving the land of sister swapping and inverted anuses to join God’s land in Minnesota, there have been QUITE a few former Green and Gold bros who have decided to wear purple. Bishop (maybe) won’t be the first, and definitely won’t be the last. Can anyone say Aaron Rodgers, Vikings starting quarterback in 2021?!

But this shirt seems to sum up this general relationship pretty well. The Packers draft a player, decide his value is no longer worth his next (and typically deserved) contract amount, they cut the player, and the Vikings are like, “Hey, poor NFL team! We’ll take your players still in their prime and feed them and house them and generally let them know they are humans by not under paying them, and then win a bunch of games and make you look like cock burrs!” That’s my favorite part of this rivalry.

And for the most part that’s been true. Look at this shirt, for instance. #4? Brett Favre, totally kicked the shit out of the NFL at age 76, beat the Packers twice in AMAZING fashion, and almost went to the Super Bowl. Let me ask you this … You think Brett Favre would have lost a playoff game to the Arizona Cardinals like the Packers did that year? Absolutely not. He’s a smarmy, penis showing old man with a drug problem, but he DOESN’T lose to the Cardinals in the playoffs (Don’t know if that’s actually true).

And then just down the line. #8, Ryan Longwell? Uh, awesome leg. Just ask him to stop kicking on your shitty field in shitty wind conditions outside in your shitty state. Boom, Pro Bowler. #42, Darren Sharper? Sure, just an amazing safety that played like another 12 years. The Packers don’t need that kind of talent on the team! And now, #85 Greg Jennings. Boy, I wonder what career path he’s going to follow with the Vikings, right?

In essence, if the Metrodome is really the Green Bay Packers’ retirement home, then let’s re-brand that place as Shady Acres, because that’s the coolest damn retirement home human eyes have ever seen. And also a decent looking shirt.