This week’s Mushroom Stamp of Disapproval “winner” is none other than starting quarterback Matt Cassel.
This, of course, shouldn’t be much of a surprise. You see, Matt Cassel played like complete shit against the Patriots on Sunday. He went 19/36 for 202 yards with a 5.6 pass average, and one touchdown. Yay! A touchdown! Oh, right, that was also then supplemented by FOUR GOD DAMN INTERCEPTIONS. What a freaking mess.
These weren’t just amazing feats of defense, either. I mean, the Patriots didn’t just stymie Matt Cassel into making stupid decisions, or leap through the campus of the University of Minnesota to make amazing picks. No, they pretty much just did their job, caught the balls thrown right to them, and LOL’d their way to securing the ball. It was bad. Cassel was under-throwing balls like he was hefting medicine balls, and scared to go deep like a virgin on first thrust. Beyond the first drive of the game (Which was FANTASTIC all around, what happened to that stuff?!), Cassel was a head case.
Did you know this was the first game he ever started on a college football field? Weird.
But that’s not to say a loss to the Patriots is ALL on Cassel’s throwing noodle. Not all of it. A lot of it, which is why he gets this stamp, but not all. No, you could have picked several others players to blame for looking like garbage, but none who I thought had quite the impact that Cassel’s ineptitude did. Those people include:
– CB Xaiver Rhodes: Couldn’t decide if he wanted to look like Fred Smoot or Chris Cook out on the field on Sunday
– LT Matt Kalil: If you ever turn into a top five left tackle in this league, I’ll remove a rib to suck myself off
– K Blair Walsh: He’s just annoying me recently, and while I know the blocked kick wasn’t EXACTLY his fault, it was on his watch, so here we are.
– Vikings Fans: Your loft expectations that after one win against a crap Rams team that we could swing dicks with Tom Brady and the Patriots is insufferable. Settle down.
So congratulations Matt on your award this week. You weren’t the only reason for us sucking, but you were definitely the biggest reason for it. Enjoy!
PREVIOUS 2014 STAMP WINNERS:
Preseason Game 1: Mushroom Stamp of Approval – LB Gerald Hodges
Preseason Game 2: Mushroom Stamp of Approval – QB Teddy Bridgewater
Preseason Game 3: Mushroom Stamp of Approval – CB Shaun Prater
Preseason Game 4: Mushroom Stamp of Approval – QB Teddy Bridgewater
Week 1: Mushroom Stamp of Approval – CB Josh Robinson
Week 2: Mushroom Stamp of Disapproval – QB Matt Cassel
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