A certain blogger at the Post-Gazette with the apt initials BS, heretofore known as the Pointy-Haired Blogger or PHB (this is actually, sadly, a Dilbert joke and not a reference to the much meaner “CHB” moniker that some Red Sox fans use to refer to Dan Shaugnessy), recently wrote a blog entry at the Post-Gazette in which he more or less accuses everyone who doesn’t think Bob Nutting is a bald-faced liar is some kind of gullible, mouth-breathing idiot. Since I’m the exact sort of person that he’s talking about you might think I’d want to respond, but being a gullible, mouth-breathing idiot makes work on my PhD in biochemistry frustrating enough and so for quite some time now, I’ve done the best I can ignoring PHB because doing the opposite only serves to bring my life unwanted extra frustration and give him the attention he so desperately seeks (not giving him said attention is the reason I’ve not linked to his post, nor referred to him by his name out of the assumption that PHB is the sort of guy that Googles himself just to see what people are saying about him).
So, when I read PHB’s post the other day I decided to ignore it, as difficult as that was. I read Matt Bandi’s excellent rebuttal and was planning on linking to that whenever I got to my next all-too-infrequent linkdump and washing my hands of the situation (you should read that now for a more literal debunking of PHB’s post because within two sentences I’m veering off that highway). You can already see how worked up I’m getting over this and we’re not even to the part that really set me off yet. In fact, I’m kind of imagining you, the unnamed reader, reading this and imagining me typing away furiously with my fingers flying, my teeth clenched, and a big vein pulsating on my forehead.
In any case, I’d been set to let the whole thing drop until I was reading the comments on a Bucs Dugout post and found that one of the commenters there (MarkInDallas) had tried to use logic with PHB and was, in turn, actually accused of working for the Pirates because of his defense of Bob Nutting. I’m sure that PHB will say that it’s all in good fun and he wasn’t being serious, but in this line of conversation that sort of thing is something that even I, an irreverent, sometimes cynical, gullible, mouth-breathing moron with almost zero journalistic training would have serious reservations joking about. What really pisses me off (“Oh wow!” the unnamed reader who’s met me once or twice thinks, “PG-13 language means Pat’s so angry he might actually be frothing at the mouth now because even though he has a tendency to swear like a sailor in real life he almost never does on WHYGAVS!”) is the implication that not only do you believe this guy, but you believe him and cite evidence, which is so ridiculous in this open-and-shut case that not only are you obviously a gullible, mouth-breathing moron, but you’re also a gutless sycophant who works for the Pirates and defends them in a public forum because your boss has asked you to!
Even if MarkInDallas were a Pirate employee, that sort of ignorance from PHB is incredibly frustrating to me. Yesterday afternoon, I put this poll up on WHYGAVS:
I’m sure that PHB would accuse me of mixing some tasty Kool-Aide here that you, my mouth-breathing, witless, gutless, hopeless, gullible, moronic, sycophantic readers, have downed in gulps, only to have your hopes, dreams, and indeed entire reason for being crushed when Bob Nutting destroys the Pirates and I, an apparently devious and cunning gullible mouth-breathing moron, am named his Minister of Truth.
The real truth of the situation is that I don’t want people to treat Bob Nutting like some kind of savior, because he’s not. Nothing’s been saved yet. The Pirates have had three losing seasons with him as owner and they’re lining up for number four. They’ve made progress, but it’s the same progress I’d make by making it to Tulsa on a cross-country drive from Chapel Hill to San Francisco. There’s a lot of work to be done, and it won’t get done if Nutting doesn’t deliver on the statements he’s made at various points in the last three seasons.
At the same time, progress is progress and it needs to be acknowledged as such. Bob Nutting has put money into aspects of the franchise that were previously ignored and he has stood behind his management team and it’s not an insane proposition to think he will continue to do so. His management team can’t turn around Dave Littlefield and Kevin McClatchy’s mess overnight any more than I can drive to San Francisco in two hours. If I’m in Tulsa asking for directions to San Francisco and you tell me I’m in Washington DC, I’m probably going to think you’re a moron
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