Stealing Strasmas

Every Nat down in Nats Town like Strasmas a lot.

But the Bucs, who played just north of Nats Town, did not.

The Bucs hated Strasmas, the whole Strasmas season

Don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason.

It could be that their hats weren’t screwed on just right.

It could be perhaps that their shoes were too tight.

But I think the most likely reason of all

May have been that their bats were two sizes too small.

But whatever the reason their hats or their bats

The Bucs stood there on Strasmas Day hating the Nats.

Staring out from their clubhouse with a sour, Nutting frown

At the warm lighted windows below in Nats Town

For they knew every fan in Nats Town, DC

Was already wearing a Strasburg jersey!

They growled with their hook-hands nervously strumming,

“We MUST find some way to stop Strasmas from coming!”

For tonight they knew all the Nationals’ fans

Would get to the park and rush up the stands!

And then! Oh the noise! Oh the noise, noise, noise, noise!

That’s one thing they hated, the NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE!

And the Nats young and old would sit down for the game,

And they’d cheer! And they’d cheer, cheer, cheer, cheer!

They’d cheer for his strikeouts! They’d spill all their beer!

The thought made the Buccos tremble with fear!

And then they’d do something they liked least of all

Every Nat down in Nats Town, the tall and the small

Would stand close together with Strasmas Bells ringing

They’d stand hand in hand and the Nats would start singing!

And the more the Bucs thought of this Nat-Strasmas-sing

The more the Bucs thought “We must stop this whole thing!

Why for two or three weeks we’ve put up with it now,

We must stop Strasmas from coming, but how!?”

Here’s the truth: This is the most anyone besides Pirate fans will notice the Pirates all year. The Pirates are currently the national afterthought, the joke of a team that’s been sacrificed to the debut of the most hyped pitching prospect in the history of baseball. No one expects the Pirates to do anything in this game besides strike out nine or ten times, go back to the locker room with their heads between their tails, and give the huge assembled scores of media some nice quotes about how awesome Strasburg is.

And that’s all people should expect from the Pirates tonight. But no one wants to be a sacrificial lamb, and there’s going to be a lot of pride on the line for the guys in black and gold tonight. I sure as hell hope they go down with a fight.

The first pitch is 7:05 and if you’re out of market, you’ll be able to watch it on the MLB Network (Unless you live in an area like, say, North Carolina, that’s considered Nats territory then doesn’t carry the game. In that case, I think you’ll be blacked out like you would be on MLB.tv. Not positive about this, but pretty sure.). The daily Clemente/Cangelosi update is after the jump.

Not sure what this is? Check here and here. Short version: in the comments pick the Pirates you think will be most and least valuable in today’s game. If you haven’t jumped aboard yet, it’s been a lot of fun so far and now’s as good a time as any to join in.

Crazy, crazy day. Standings (mostly Dana Eveland-inflated) are up:

Don_Madden: 34
ndbrian, dafletch: 21
North Shore Ryan, brian2: 20
Woodward, Carnegie Chip: 18
hisjazziness: 15
Wizard of Woz, J. Latrobe: 14
hwtrine68, pdiddy0020: 13
michaelbro8: 12
whygavs, Garrett122: 11
UtesFan890, bwzimmerman: 8
apk, edgeman2k: 7
Nate, TuckerD13, dboz, edgeman2k, Dave_Mesing, Mornacale: 6
TheHulk, WallyR, Cecelio_Guante: 5
TomKaikis, Joek, tylerrcurtis, TheJewelryMan!, fruitbat, appeal2smail: 3
PatrickHealy, MattB, SteelCity66, BadAndy, spazaru, Adam_Reynolds, Mr. Ando, cocktailsfor2: 2
FSU Bucs, Christy, appeal2smail, SeanGentile, shsteimer, TheHulk, Traco Bucco, Tate, Neopold, IndianaJohns04, wk kortas, jac8, Mr. Ando, DoctorGeeves, CoryR: 1
Everyone else: 0
NSN, Mosca, danatural, Teflon, John Sparrow, matt w, Fielding Yost, PHook4000: -1

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Stealing Strasmas

Alan Draper

Alan Draper

Alan Draper