Musical Chairs

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Musical Chairs
by Gant

I doubt there's anyone reading this who was not at some point forced by
professional educators to play the game, "Musical Chairs." It was a
long time ago though, wasn't it?

In case you've forgotten how to play, here are the rules:
1) The game is played with contestants and chairs.
2) There is one less chair than there are contestants.
3) In the background music plays.
4) While the music is playing the contestants covetously circle the chairs.
5) When the music stops, everyone rushes to seat themselves.
6) The lone contestant without a chair is eliminated and subject to derisive hoots by their onlooking peers.
7)
The contest continues until all contestants but one are eliminated,
leaving that heroic figure in possession of the last remaining chair.
8) The chair possessor is roundly lauded for their seat capturing acumen.
9) The last runner up receives a particularly severe dose of derisive hooting.
10) Everyone moves on to finger painting.

In
case you didn't know, there is a critically important game of Musical
Chairs being played right now in the NBA free agent market. In this
case there is a slight variation from the traditional rules: There are
three contestants and two game-ending chairs.

The name of the
game is Capture the Mid-Level Exception Big Man. The contestants are
named: The Orlando Magic, The San Antonio Spurs, and The Boston
Celtics. The chairs also have names: Rasheed Wallace and Antonio
McDyess.

The winner gets Rasheed. The second place finisher get
McDyess. The third contestant is eliminated not only from the game, but
quite possibly from NBA title contention.

There is one other oddity to the NBA version of Musical Chairs: The chairs get to pick the contestant, not visa versa.

Here's
what's happening: McDyess is holding back because Rasheed gets to
choose first which he will do next week. After Rasheed picks his new
locale, then Antonio can select his.

There's not a whole lot of
separation between Wallace and McDyess, just as Boston, Orlando, and
San Antonio offer very similar enticements in terms of money and
championship possibilities.

Right now the music is playing. Can
you hear it? In a short while there will be silence. Two powerful teams
will have elevated themselves. The other will be sitting on their ass
in humiliation while everyone points and hoots.