Football Friday Week Two: The Long Ball

Greetings once again Cougar Nation and welcome to Football Friday, Week Two.

Don’t know about you all, but I am ready for this slew of non-conference-Thursday-who-cares-fest games to end…I need to get some stinkin’ work done.

Anywho, let’s talk first about the upcoming game against the FEARSOME cupcakes from San Diego State.

As you all should know by now, San Diego State led the nation last year in formal surgeries–I think 31 of those pansies had to go under the knife during or immediately following the season(ever heard of weight training, you pansies?).

On the bright side of things for them, they return a wealth of talent on offense and have a coach (Mr. Chuck Long) who reminds Brinkhater A LOT of captain comeback(now at Stanford): the guy just wins. For you younglings who don’t remember, Long put Iowa and Hayden Frye on the map in the 80’s and he also masterminded much of the Oklahoma offense during their return to national prominence (if not dominance) during the late 90’s/first part of this decade.

Simply put, SDSU is going to be a playuh in the coming months and Long is the EXACT type of guy who could emerge as a prominent candidate for WSU should the season head south over the coming weeks.

In addition, Long has seen WSU and its “schemes” before in the 2003 massacre known as the Price Rose-Toilet Bowl. So, they will be prepared for us on both sides of the ball.

In the end, though, it just won’t be enough. By the time the clock strikes quadruple zeros in Seahawks stadium, our defense will have shown its true shape of swiss cheez, but our offense will be WAY too much for a SDSU defense that will simply be overmatched.

Look for Alex Brink to add about 170 more yards to his total from last week without sacrificing efficiency or TOs: the Cougs will rack up 500 yards of total offense in this game–guaranteed.

Thankfully, the fact that our defense will give up 450 will be an afterthought:

Cougs roll 45-28

Other Notable Crap-10 Games:

Boise State 31 Washington 21: An early present to all the Husky haters like Brinkhater out there; Jake will be knocked down to earth this week by a good team that is VERY tired of being refered to as a “one hit wonder.” Bad news: Barring injury, Huskies shock OSU next week.

Michigan 35 Oregon 34: You think that last week’s loss will make Michigan steamroll Belotti’s babies? Think again, speed kills the Big 10 and the Quack will score in this one….in the end, Michigan pulls out close one which will send the quackers limping for the rest of the year (remember, keep Dixon in the pocket and the Ducks plain SUCK).

ASU 45 Colorado 17: Memo to Buffs fans: You’re gonna suck for a while til Hawkins has time to recruit….God to I hate Dennis Erickson!

Oregon State 31 Cincinatti 24. This is gonna be a real squeeker. In the end, Bernard and the return of Stroughter are enough fo the Beavs to avoid an early season set back.

Mariners 0 Rest of AL 29. Biggest collapse since the Orioles lost 24 something straight to open the 88 season. Will SOMEbody on that team buck up and hit some roids, please?

Enjoy the games this weekend…

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