Breaking News: One is Done

Near Vestal New, York (AP)

Late on Sunday night, the Northeastern Headquarters of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) announced the completion of a major sting operation involving residents of New York State’s Southern Tier.  According to sources familiar with the Operation, three members of the “Cougar Love” compound were arrested early Sunday morning following attempts by the suspects to illegally hack into the computer server of Worldwide Sports Conglomerate, SB Nation.

Blake Shanahan, spokesman for the FBI in Boston released the following statement regarding the arrest on Sunday at about 6:58pm EDT:

“At 8:45 am, the FBI in Binghamton, NY, apprehended three men who were involved in a complete and complex hacking effort of the SB Nation.com servers, including a concerted effort to erase all content and access to local SB Nation affiliate, Cougcenter.com.  While the nature of this effort is still in discovery, three of the suspects in question were involved in a bio-terrorism effort in Oregon several years back.  And for that reason, we had each of these three men under surveillance for quite some time.  We will issue other updates as they become available.”

While the FBI declined further comment, sources familiar to the investigation provided additional details of the operation under the condition that they remain anonymous.  These sources provided the names of three primary suspects who currently are in federal custody:

Bart “Cletis” MacNamara  of Bloomington, Indiana; Alex Brinkhater of Eugene Oregon; and the Coug-A-Sutra of Kuchwada, Madhya Pradesh, India.

According to sources, computer logs not only showed that the three had gained inside access to the SB Nation server, they had also successfully implanted photo-shopped images of cougcenter.com writers engaging in lurid acts with farm animals.

Apparently, these images were scheduled to be sent out early Monday in lieu of the main text Cougcenter had produced for their “Cougar Sports Weekly” e-mail service.

While calls to Cougcenter staffers were not returned, Ben Koo “Mo-Dee”, CEO of Bloguin.com issued the following statement, since the Bloguin.com company had financial ties to the suspects:

Obviously, it is very distressing to hear this troubling news regarding key members of the WSU Football Blog.  While we are very excited about the future and viability of www.wsufootballblog.com , we are unable to continue our relationship with the Coug-A-Sutra and the rest of his filthy knaves at this time.  For this reason, we are terminating our contract with the Coug-A-Sutra and all of his namesakes immediately.”

At press time, the three suspects had not yet been arraigned, and therefore were unavailable for comment.  However, Sutra’s lawyer, Skippy Dupree, issued the following statement to the AP late Sunday night:

“I am very saddened to hear about these maddening and falsely inaccurate accusations levied toward my clients.  Nevertheless, I am happy to inform the Sutra’s followers that (a) The WSU Football Blog will continue during this transition period; and (b) The Coug-A-Sutra does have a new home for blogging at www.cougalicious.blogspot.com).  I have nothing else to add at this time.

May the Football Gods continue to bestow great care on the WSU Football Blog!

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