Happy Almost Hump Day, Cougs! At long last, March Madness is upon us. It’s not very often that your school gets the opportunity to play in one of the four most prestigious postseason college basketball tournaments in all the land so I had to document the occasion for prosperity’s comedy’s sake. We’re coming to you live from The Huddy Estates in beautiful Sedro-Woolley, Washington. When I found out that HDNet carries the CBI, I was well aware of what channel it is on my cable service. If you’re not aware, Comcast Channel 707 shows an amazing documentary about college co-eds on some nights. I think it’s an environmental program because it’s about those girls going wild. Anyway, let’s get to the action, shall we?
7:01 – It’s a three man booth for tonight’s festivities: Rich Cellini, Joe Cravens’ and Joe Cravens’ moustache. Our man Rich just dubbed Brock Motum one of the best big men in the country. I like this guy.
7:05 – First possession for the Cougs leads to a wide open three by Abe Lodwick. If you think this guy is going to lie down and close his college career flaming out in a lightly watched, even more lightly attended tournament, you just don’t know Abe Lodwick.
7:10 – 7-5 Cougs. Brock Motum has started cold with a couple misses and a turnover. It’s hard to blame him for feeling the pressure on this stage. A bucket apiece for Moore and Capers have accounted for the rest of the scoring. Also, some guys for San Francisco have scored. At some point, I’ll learn their names. Maybe.
7:12 – 12-7 WSU. Brock’s on the board and Lacy with a 3!! Nice pass, Reggie. Our first commercial break. Time to see who ponied up the big money to advertise during the CBI. The prime spot goes to Zebra Pen. In your face, Bic. Zebra even has a decal on the floor. They’re not messing around.
7:17 – I’m trying to understand the low attendance for tonight’s game so I took a look to see what else is happening in San Francisco tonight to keep folks out of this gym. I’m guessing they’re all pre-funking for Jhameel Plus Giraffge and Rin Tin Tiger at Cafe du Nord.
7:18 – Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Thunder from Down Under. A Brock dunk extends the Cougs’ lead to 18-7, but Joe Guy-Who-Plays-For-San-Francisco answers with a 3. I’ve really gotta learn names. I think it was a Williams?
7:20 – Motum for threeeeeee! 21-10, good guys.
7:20:33ish – Ladd for threeeee! 24-10. All CBI jokes aside, I’m officially enjoying myself.
7:22 – The Dons get a couple lay-ups to cut the lead to 24-14. Coach Bone calls timeout, ostensibly to revise the strategy so as to prevent lay-ups.
7:25 – Another lay-up for USF makes it 24-16. On the bright side, there was also a foul on the play. That one guy will shoot a free throw after the break.
7:26 – Flo the Progressive Lady is on my TV. Damn it.
7:27 – Cole Dickerson! One of the dudes who plays for USF is named Cole Dickerson. Also, he just hit a three. I do not like Cole Dickerson. 24-19, WSU. I’m enjoying myself less now.
7:27 – The Cougs have committed travelling violations on each of the last two possessions. I’m traveling to the refrigerator for a beer now.
7:31 – Aaaaaaaah, that’s better.
7:32 – It’s an 11-0 run for the Dons, but Motum answers with a three point play. 27-21, Cougs. Thanks, Brock.
7:33 – OK, I definitely know who Perris Blackwell is. He’s the guy pounding us inside. Got it.
7:37 – If there is any way that the block/charge could be removed from the sport of basketball, I’d enjoy it 546% more. 29-24 WSU after a couple free throws.
7:38 – DJ Shelton slam! The Dons are pressuring very aggressively on D. Our answer to it is either turning the ball over or getting easy buckets, for the most part.
7:40 – An HDNet graphic says something about Faisal Aden and Royce Woolridge, which is interesting. Back-to-back three’s for USF cut the lead to one. Both of the three’s came against the 2-3 zone, which is weird because our zone has been aces when it comes to defending the 3 this season.
7:41 – Replays of the the three pointers show they were every beat as easy as they looked live.
7:44 – We’re officially having trouble with the Dons’ defense. Fortunately, they’re having trouble shooting free throws. Still 31-30, WSU.
7:46 – The problem with this Live Blog gimmick is that as soon as I say something, it’s no longer very accurate. Case in point, the last two offensive possessions for the Cougs dismantled the aforementioned USF defense to create lay-ups. In between those, The Dons his a pair of free throws. They also hit a last second shot to make our halftime score 35-34 WSU. It seems inexplicable how easily the Cougs could blow a 14 point lead, but if you’ve watched at all this season, you know that everything that happens is totally explicable. I’m going to eat some dinner now.
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8:03 – And we’re back! If the first possession is any indication, the second half game plan is contested threes. I like it.
8:06 – Open threes work way better than the contested ones. Cougs lead 40-34 courtesy of a Lacy trey. That open three thing works for USF too. That Williams guy hits one in spite of the ugliest J in the history of ugly J’s.
8:08 – Truth be told, my reference to eating dinner earlier actually meant “start heating up dinner”. I’m really going to eat now. This segment is brought to you by a leftover steak and cheese sandwich with some onion rings courtesy of The Train Wreck in Burlington. By the way, nice run by the Cougs (Capers dunk and a three point play by Moore) has the lead up to 10. We’re awesome at starting halves. in the CBI.
8:12 through 8:15 – Mike Ladd’s dunk was so unexpected that I yelled, set down my dinner and typed this sentence. Cody Doolin (he of the second ugliest J in the history of ugly J’s) badly misses a three, but gets his own rebound, scores and is fouled. Easy lay-up for Brock. Another badly missed shot turns into a bucket for the Dons, Capers dunk. 53-43 Cougs. Holy crap, that was a lot of stuff. Timely commercial break.
8:22 – Apparently it takes me about 14 minutes to eat half a sandwich and several onion rings while intermittently typing. I’m equal parts disgusted and impressed with myself.
8:25 – Charlie Enquist is making a meaningful contribution tonight. So there. Cougs by 7.
8:27 – The Cougs keep explicably leaving Williams open. He hits another three to cut the lead to four. Ken Bone: Making the inexplicable explicable since 2009.
8:30 – Headed out to dictionary.com to make sure explicable is a word. Yep, we’re good.
8:32 – A pair of free throws for Motum. We’ve been excellent from the line tonight. It’s all or nothin’ folks. Go figure.
8:33 – It turns out “That Williams Guy” is actually named Michael. Only an hour and a half in and I’ve got it! Also, Lodwick just fouled him while shooting a three. Michael hits all three, but hey at least he wasn’t wide open. Lodwick is rewarded with a visit to Coach Hiro for a life lesson. Cougs by 6.
8:36 – Washington State’s steadfast insistence to not playing winning basketball is admirable. A ridiculously bad cross court pass leads to a Don lay-up to cut the lead to 4. Sigh.
8:41 – Well that was weird. Up 8, Reggie Moore, got a rebound, gave the ball a great big hug and tied up by What’s-His-Face Caloiario. Possession arrow to The Dons who hit a pair of free throws. 75-69 Wazzu. 3:40 to go. Alright then.
8:45 – Someone in the USF student section is holding a giant picture of Betty White. Because of course they are.
8:45 – Aiiiiiiiirballlllllllll…..aaaaiiiiiiirrrrrbaaallllll. Up 8 with the ball, the Cougs have a chance to step on The Dons’ throats. Fortunately, this is our specialty.
8:47 – OOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!! Abe Lodwick just threw down a violent two-handed slam. He cocked the ball behind his head and everything. I wouldn’t believe it myself if I hadn’t seen it live on HDNet!
8:49 – The Cougs broke down the press to get a lay-up for Brock and extend the lead to 10. USF missed a three. 1:28 to go, Moore to the line. Time to start dreaming big, Coug fans. You know, relatively speaking.
8:50 – After typing it enough times, I tried to find out what the hell a Don is. It appears to be a person of nobility dating back to colonial Spain. I think? Finding out was much harder than it should have been so I pretty much gave up. I’m pretty sure cougars eat them, whatever they are. Oh yeah, we’re up by 12 and are pretty much salting this thing away.
8:54 – We cleverly threw away the inbound so that Marcus could block a dunk attempt for one more signature Marcus Capers play. At least that’s how it worked in my head. It was pretty awesome either way.
8:56 – This thing looks to be in the bag so I’m going to start wrapping things up before “New Girl” starts. Look, I don’t think by any stretch of the imagination this team deserves to play in a postseason tournament. The fact of the matter is that we are now so I figure we might as well enjoy it. It beats not watching Cougar sports I suppose. The team played well tonight so credit is due since they just as easily could have packed it in and let this season be put out of its misery. Instead, they proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that we would have been one hell of a competitive WCC team this season. Bring on North Dakota State or Wyoming. Your final score tonight is WSU 89 – San Francisco 75. The Cougs are back to .500. I had fun. I hope y’all have fun reading about it.
Go Cougs.
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