Know your enemy: Detroit Red Wings

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I think on behalf of Sabres fans, I can always say that it’s a big game whenever the Sabres are playing the Red Wings. It’s not a rivalry per say, but there is a coolness in the air when these two hockey American hotbeds meet. I know Buffalo fans get hyped up playing the Wings as they are definitely a draw when it comes to ratings and attendance. Of course, everyone makes jokes that both cities are in decline because of jobs, but let us not talk about that?!

The Boys over at The Production Line reached out to me to conduct a Q&A. You probably aren’t going to learn much except some bad Ryan Miller jokes.

If you want to check out my answers to the questions he asked, here is the link to their site.

5) I’ve never been to Michigan, but the two people I directly/indirectly know from that area are Ryan Miller and Michael Petrella (TV Friend who works for your site). Um, is there something in the water there? One guy loves taking weird photos and being in Caddy Shack short films, while the other guy is the missing member of NSYNC. Is this the norm in Michigan? Also, do you guys dream that Ryan Miller will walk through those doors and sport a Red Wings jersey? Is that why you guys continue to employ the crappy, gray haired version of one of the Millers?

There exists, in the back of every Detroiter’s mind, this long (lost) hope that Ryan Miller will somehow see the light and demand a trade back to Detroit for some ridiculously low salary that allows us to rotate him and Jimmy, Boston-style.  Is having Drew on the roster bait?  You’re damn right it is.  Thankfully, the guy can also kill penalties and round a third or fourth line.  Win-win.

4) How does it feel to know that the city of Buffalo has stolen away your Hockeytown calling card. You know we are hockey heaven, right? You are old news. We are taking over America. We have Buffalo native, Patrick Kane, haunting the Red Wings on a yearly basis. We have new locker rooms while the Joe Louis Arena is a complete dump. Hockeytown looks like Shelbyville from Simpsons. We rule the world now!

If Kane is the “Mayor of Hockeytown” I assume that my long-unanswered letter from Minka Kelly has somehow been returned with a personal note from her and pictures to attone for the long silence.  These two developments are equally realistic.  I love how Buffalo supports the Sabers, but if you think you’re stealing away the Hockeytown title, you’re a mad man.  There is this thing…this little metal contraption…called “The Stanley Cup” that you have to have seen in your hometown (and not on a Kane visit) within the past decade to claim that title.

3) Hey, here’s a hockey related question, how does Detroit constantly find European players?

Match.com.  No…wait…Match.eu

2) How do you guys feel about Hasek? We had him during the prime of his career and some fans loved him, while other fans thought he was just weird.

I loved Dom, and I think the popular consensus is that the man was an absolute mad genius.  He added about 5 years onto my life every postseason game because he spent so much time doing things you were positive would end badly, but in the end, he was a big reason one of those 11 Cups went down Woodward Avenue for the parade.  I’m grateful to the man.  Goalie in Detroit is one of the hardest positions in sports.  There’s a never-ending stream of expectations…likely unrealistic…and criticism that comes with the position.  It takes a mad man with mad skills to hold it down.  Ask Curtis Joseph about that.

1)  What are the strengths and weaknesses for the Red Wings?

I think it’s our ability to balance good looks and high-level talent. Being a technically sound hockey team will only get you so far.  You have to have that “mysterious, well built man across the bar” component to be a legitimate year in, year out player in this modern NHL.  You could grab any three random-ass guys from the roster and they’d fit seamlessly into the Thunder From Down Under show in Vegas.  Not that I’ve seen it.  I think that says something.

…oh, and our blueline is pretty damn solid.  I attribute that entirely to #5 coming back for another year and playing his tits off. I don’t know what life looks like without Nick.  In the words of Donald Rumsfeld, the “unknown unknowns” that begin to splay out when Lidstrom walks off the ice for the last time…a day I am positive will never actually come…will be brutal.  For now though, our blueline looks damn good, and I mean that in both a gamesmanship manner and a “I’d be comfortable with any of these guys taking out my mother” way. Except Hudler.  Hudler has to keep his hands off my mom.  And I mean it this time.

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