Losing.
It is something Bills fans have been all too familiar with over the years. It is often said that the Bills losing on Sunday will dictate what sort of work week fans will go through. Win? Work gets done. Lose? You are getting to work 20 minutes late and you ain't doing shit for the day.
In times of despair, sometimes, misery often loves company and Bills fans tend to be no different.
You are so tormented by the losses and in turn you want the players/owners/coaches to feel the same way. You want to know why some fans demand to hear Terry Pegula or Ralph Wilson speak? It isn't just so they could tell you how they are going to solve the teams problems, it is so they can hear and see how much pain and anguish they are going through with losing. When fans hear the cries from them, it humanizes them, making them one of us and showing that they actually care.
I wonder had Scott Norwood not cried during the SBXXV post rally, would he still have gotten that forgiveness after the fact? Or how about what happened after Sunday's game, when some folks thought Stevie didn't take responsibility. Sometimes, fans just want you to feel their pain and to wear your emotions on your sleeves like they do.
You always hear about how when the Bills win, the people of Buffalo stick their chests out more. We also know what happens when we lose, as we we tend to go into self-defeat mode. The first time it happens, you tend to get over it rather quickly, but when it returns…and returns… and once again returns…it becomes our little friend who watches the games with us. We wear this emotion of anger/sadness like a cloak, it becomes our darker side. I've even heard the notion from some that we may miss the pain if it left…well, I say, I wish someone would have ripped this fucker out of me by now.
I always tend to feel bad for new players who come to town because they aren't inheriting the pain like most fans are born with when it comes to the football team. If they come from a winning college, or franchise, they might be like "What the fuck have I gotten into here? Why are you guys so sad?" But for some new comers who were born to hate losing, you can just hear it in their voice, to the point where you think they have been there with you when it comes to the devastating losses.
In certain moments (and it doesn't happen all that much,) you tend to feel bad for that person. Have you guys noticed how Doug Marrone takes to losing? The man fucken hates it.
Let Exhibit A from a few weeks ago tell the story..
It's Doug Marrone's press conference. Let's hear what the man has to stay..Holy shit, the press conference is 25 minutes long! That's unheard of for a Monday News conference. It is normally like a 10-minute meet and greet.
Oh, and Doug decides to have an opening statement that goes on for like 7-minutes. I mean, a 7-minute opening? This never happens. An opening for a press conference usually consists for 30 secs of what went wrong, or reading off the injury report with a monotone delivery. Seriously, just watch the conference for about 5 minutes and come back to this piece…
So, what did you hear? It wasn't just your standard coach speak, or cliches out of their ass. You heard passion. Lots of it. 24 hours later, the loss is still with this guy. He sounds, dare I say, like a fan. Like us. A man in which the losing is eating at him inside and he is just pleading for forgiveness with the fans. It is very genuine and it worries me to the point that the guy could strangle someone.
Some of his quotes were just so powerful.
"I’m telling you right now, I promise you as I stand here; I’ve been through this before. I know we don’t like it, I know that feeling. It’s very easy for myself; I can easily go home after a game like that and find ways to take myself to a different place. Meaning that it’s not going to hurt as much, but I don’t do that. I make it hurt in my stomach, I use that as motivation to get myself to go."
Wow. I make it hurt? That's like gluttony of punishment kind of stuff. It is about looking at what you've done wrong and using it as motivation. But while that's kind of an everyday cliche you hear from people at work, or just motivational speakers, his delivery happens with such conviction.
Here's more stuff from Doug Marrone dealing with the torment of losing from Tim Graham's piece from a few Sundays back:
"I see the people who work here and feel so guilty, like I let everyone down. So I feel that way inside, but yet when I walk into the building I have to make sure they know, ‘Hey, I’m ready to go. We’re going to get this right.’ ”
Then here's the kiss of death, or that moment I just wanna hug you and say it is alright..
"I want to make sure we’re clear, do I have feel like I have time to turn this thing around? Hell no. Hell no. I know I have to turn this thing around now, today in what we do. So let’s make sure we’re all on the same page here. I understand this, it’s my responsibility."
Doug..It isn't your fault. Don't become us!
After Sunday's game against Atlanta, Marrone mentioned in some shape or fashion that the loss hurt about 4-5 different times. He sheepishly mentioned something about not getting in trouble with is wife. I gotta tell you, I haven't had too many moments with feeling bad for the coaches in this town, especially ones who have only been here for like 12 games.
But Doug is different.
He really fricken hurts and you gravitate to it. The Bills haven't had too many emotional coaches that we've had a connection with. Marv Levy was always the standard, but he wasn't one who wore his emotions on his sleeve. Doug does.
I guess my message is that I love the passion. I love that he understands how much fans love this team and gets why we have to win. I love that he will throw his dog onto the street out of anguish after we lose, but don't trip out. You have time to ride the ship correctly. Don't become like us and burn out.
I know we sometimes tend to want the Bills to change overnight. Before the season, it was all about EJ's growth and I didn't give two shits about the record. Unfortunately, you get caught up in the season and you forget that this is year one of a rebuilding process and in terms of a rebuilding season, I think the Bills have made progress.
I just hope Doug Marrone realizes it. Let the losses be a learning lesson in coaching, not something you have to bring home with you like we do.
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