I'm a hothead who does NOT respond well to criticism.
It is a combination of being a former fat kid who got picked on a lot, being Italian (yes, the stereotype that all Italians are angry as shit are true), and being from a city that gets its panties in a bunch whenever it gets called out or insulted.
I live my life for constant reassurance and it is cool when I don't get it, but it drags on me when I'm judged as being stupid by others. It bugs the shit out of me to the point that I can't stop thinking about. I dwell on it, and let it eat at me.
At this point in my life, I know how my body reacts when this happens. My eyes narrow, I start fidgeting a bit, my breath gets shorter, my mind races about 100 mph, and I start ranting to myself and then to you!
I try to play it cool, and I try to find some serenity about it or think "Who cares what this person says?" or make a joke out of it by being self-deprecating, but deep down, I'm livid. I'm a fighter and when I'm wrong, I'll admit it about 10 minutes later after I stop defending myself. I just don't like being judged. I don't like being called out unless I'm the one who starts the fight because all bets are off if you start it IMO. I don't start the fight, but I will try and finish it even if I'm wrong.
When you are a younger, you can get away with flying off the handle occasionally because kids make mistakes. It is just the rage storm of going through puberty and learning from it. However, when you get into a career that has a lot to do with communicating with others, not only can't you insult people or tell them to fuck off, you gotta be careful with how you argue with someone. You never know who is on the other end of the argument.
My first lesson on this came a few years back.
I was working on a dog-related show for which I was dealing with lots of animal shelters. (Sidenote: I love animal rescuers. They are passionate people and do all their rescuing practically for free. Working on this show made me want to only have rescue dogs.) I had to call different shelters and see what kind of dogs they had for us to use on the show to give to a family. If a family wanted a Husky, I called all these shelters from NYC to Pennsylvania looking for one. Maybe it was a bit superficial, but I had to make sure the family liked the dog. I couldn't give them a dog that bit their kids or took shits all over the place.
At times, dog shelters would get really pissed off when I'd look at a dog and then tell them, "Thanks, but no thanks." I get it. You rescue dogs and you want to find them a home. , I was always sincere in apologizing to them because I felt terrible about saying no.
One time though, this crazy dog rescuer would not stop calling me about a dog. She left me message after message. She wrote me emails. After I told her about 50 times that the dog wasn't a good match for the family we were working with, she started to blow up. "You are just like the abusers! You are callous and using dogs for your own purpose!" Something over-the-top insane. So I got upset and became defensive.
I emailed her back in a very acute tone of something along the lines of hey, we are trying to get these dogs adopted and doing the best we can to get the word out. You are acting like a brat and have no idea how much we care.
"Brat" was the end of it.
A few days later, my boss wanted to see me. That can't be good, right? This person had emailed the president of the network, who oversees like 2,000 employees, probably barely sees any of these shows or knows who the fuck my boss is much less me, and said I was insulting to the rescue. I got yelled at. Told if someone complained about me again I'd be gone. I tried to defend myself and say the lady was nuts, but I was shhhhhhed and pretty much told that it didn't matter, I couldn't respond that way. Looking back, I get it.
It wasn't about what I said really. It was about my position at a publicly traded company in a corporate setting going against some volunteer at a mom and pop rescue. I have a different standard to meet than someone who is arguing with me. Intercom Radio, Warren Buffett, anything with share holders, you have unwritten rules in dealing with people.
My mom was a great pizza shop owner, and she talked to people however she wanted. She could because she represented only herself. However, if she was in a business setting like I was, forget it. She'd have HR on her back before she was even hired with her attitude.
Corporate America is the world we live in now. We HAVE to be careful about what we say…and tweet.
In the 3 or so years I've been active on Twitter, I've noticed that a select few in the MSM don't work by these rules. Yes, I know the majority of people on Twitter are assclowns, but you are professionals. You have standards. You have to think before you engage with an audience that obviously doesn't have a filter.
I don't just talk shit about how Tim Graham, Sal Mariona and others treat readers on Twitter because I'm looking for page views. I just think they are living beyond the rules of etiquette when it comes to working in a communication field. It is just wrong and silly. I don't know if it has to do with Buffalo being kind of small town to the point that we have 24/7 coverage of Tom Brady dissing our hotels and can make the rules up as we go in substance, but it sometimes feels like the inmates are running the asylum.
Hell, if you manage a McDonalds and someone says to you, "Your food taste likes ass and you are a terrible cook," you think you're going to get away with calling that customer a loser like Sal Mairoana does 10 times during the average Bills game? Hell, no. The district manager would fire your ass.
As a blogger who writes for myself, I can be an all-around jackass if I want. What I'm doing is not a profession. It is a glorified hobby. It does not reflect on anyone but me. That may not be fair for professional journalists, but that's life.
By now we all know what Mike Harrington said a couple days ago. Even with his faults, I do genuinely like Mike. It might have to do with how he's been pretty cool to me since I've started blogging and he does a decent job when he isn't trying to be the loudest guy in the room. However, he was out of line with his tweet.
After reading his statement, I do believe that he didn't know that "Tard" was short for..you know..and he was just going by Le Batard's nickname. I mean, media guys all have nicknames shortened. Just look at the locals: Sully (Jerry Sullivan), Brownie (Chris Brown), Whitey (Jeremy White), Murph (John Murphy), and Robie (Mike Robitaille). Also, if your son has special needs, I don't think you would be using the word "Tard" as an insult in that way. But hey, I'm quick to believe people, fall for apologies, and feel bad for people who fuck up.
But you know what the worst part in all of this is?
This wasn't even the worst thing I've seen tweeted by Mike or some other local media members in the last month! The damage wasn't done on this one tweet. The damage was done months – years – ago with Mike and others MSMers.
Mike deserved some of the backlash just based on how he and certain MSM treat their audience on Twitter. And I'm not talking just about social media. I'm talking sports talk shows and how hosts berate callers or Bucky calling people who disagree with him apologists for the 2,000th time without engaging in any real conversation. Those folks need to stop acting like respect is a one-way street.
Fair or foul, the audience views itself as buyers and the media are producers who should have some respect for that fact. You should be kissing our asses – or at the very least, being polite – and not trying to fight us because we help keep you in business.
I don't walk in Mike's shoes. I just told you that I have a terrible temper and I can admit, I'd probably fly off the handle pretty easily if I were him and someone said I was a pedophile or an asshole on Twitter. Hell, I went ballistic when that bozo Chris Smith dissed my site and any blogger not associated with the WECK alumni crew…But hey, it comes with the territory and when you have an opinionated voice, people are going to disagree with you a lot and think you suck.
On top of that, EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER has cast the first (and in some cases bigger) stones on Twitter, myself included. We can be a self-righteous, unbearable mob on Twitter. We can't wait to get at someone who we feel deserves it.
For Mike, it wasn't that long ago that a lot of bloggers and social media-savvy folks loved him and I think the feeling was mutual.
People thought he was cutting edge because he got on Twitter when TBN reporters were still using homing pigeons and typewriters to deliver the news and working really hard at ignoring reader feedback. Maybe it was a combination of Twitter blowing up, bloggers becoming arrogant because of press passes and growing, or Mike slipping into the Skip Bayless-caricature that 9/10 radio and print people have gone through.
However, the discord has been at a boiling point for a while and when you are constantly lashing out at any disagreement or lecturing people about standards, those same people are going to crush you when you slip. That is just the way it is. You reap what you sow.
If John Vogl made those comments, the local Twitterverse wouldn't have gone quite as ape shit as it did. And that's the thing Mike and others need to learn from this. Karma is a bitch sometimes.
Everyone knows who the main culprits in Buffalo Twitter are, and I hope their bosses take the onslaught that Mike is getting right now as a chance to remind all the staff that they are still professionals and that Twitter isn't a roast where you can just lambaste your audience. Someone trolls you? Block and don't say a word. You say things that are going to piss people off, be ready for the onslaught and take it professionally.
Mike, you don't have to have a fucken opinion about the UFC or soccer. If the entirety of your opinion is "This is stupid and your sport blows," you can probably keep it to yourself. If not, yeah, people are going to respond. Do NOT, for any reason, respond to people who don't like it with any kind of pejorative.
I get it, it isn't all your fault. We bear some of the blame for Twitter fights, too. But fair or not, the line that should not be crossed is closer to your feet than ours.
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