My 2015 Bills schedule primer

Week 1 Sept. 13 vs. Indianapolis Colts 1 p.m. CBS

• One of my favorite Bills/Colts memories- Bills clinching home field advantage for the playoffs in 1993. Yes, this seemed to be a yearly occurrence for them in the early 90s. The Colts were so bad from 89-94. I just remember the Bills blowing them out and Jeff George was awful.
• One of my least favorite Colts/Bills memories- The stupid Rob Johnson game against the Colts backups which made Ralph Wilson want him to start in the playoffs against the Titans. Actually, was it Ralph? Could we ever find this out from anyone?
• Random player stat: Mario Williams 11 sacks against the Colts are the 2nd most he’s had against any team.
• Random team stat: Rex Ryan has beaten the Colts with Andrew Luck and Peyton Manning as QBs.
• Random Colts stat: The Colts scored 27 points or more in 9 games last season.

Week 2- Sept. 20 vs. New England Patriots 1 p.m. CBS

• One of my favorite Bills/Patriots memories- Thurman’s 80-yard run. Enough said.
• One of my least favorite Bills/Patriots memories- Um, well, we can start from 2001. However, that would take too long. That 2007 game where the Bills kicked a FG when they were down by 5 TDs was great.
• Random player stat: Fred Jackson’s 785 yards and 5TDs against the Pats are the most he’s had in his career against one team.
• Random team stat: Rex Ryan has 4 career wins against the Patriots.
• Random Patriots stat: Tom Brady has 58TDs and over 6,500 yards passing in 23 games against the Bills. Please retire!!!

Week 3- Sept. 27 at Miami Dolphins 4:25 p.m. CBS

• One of my favorite Bills/Dolphins memories: Gosh. So many. Let’s go with the 1989 home game in Buffalo. This was Frank Reich’s 3rd NFL start and the biggest highlight was Thurman’s 31-yard TD run. He broke like 4 defensive player ankles on that play.
• One of my least favorite Bills/Dolphins memories: That Sunday night game in 2003 where we all thought the Bills were going to the Super Bowl was pretty bad. Travis Henry throwing a INT in the back of the end zone and Bledsoe getting sacked a billion times will stay with me.
• Random player stat: Matt Cassel is 2-4 against Miami. Has 6TDs and 3INTs for 979 yards and a QB rating of 86.6
• Random team stat: Since 1997, the Bills and Dolphins have combined to start 24 different starting QBs. Woof.
• Random Miami stat: Tannehill is 2-4 against the Bills for his career and has averaged just 171 yards a game.

September schedule take:
Well, we are going to find out pretty quickly if the offseason hype matches the regular season product. Brutal opening three games (Combined 31-17 record). The Bills are playing against the teams from the AFC title game and Miami isn’t a pushover, especially on the road.

Week 4 Oct. 4 vs. New York Giants 1 p.m. Fox

• One of my favorite Giants/Bills memories- SNF opener in 1996. Kelly hit Andre Reed on one of his patented catch and run TDs. Bruce Smith and Bryce Paup caused havoc against Dave Brown (Who?). Bills won in OT.
• One of my Least favorite Giants/Bills memories- We really don’t have to go here.
• Random player stat: McCoy’s most yards rushing against any team are the Giants with 1,036 yards.
• Random team stat: The last time the Bills beat the Giants at home was 1993.
• Random Giants stat: Eli Manning’s only visit to Buffalo resulted in a 7 of 15 for 111 yards and 2 INTs. The Bills still lost, 38-21.

Week 5: Oct. 11 at Tennessee Titans 1 p.m. CBS

• One of my favorite Bills/Titans memories- Bills have only beat the Titans once. So, let’s just do the comeback game when they were in Houston. That was the defining game for the 90s Bills and even for the franchise. Seriously, there should be a book about this game since it really changed both franchises fortunes and defined them.
• One of my least favorite Bills/Titans memories- Well…let’s see. I mean, the last playoff game ever for the Bills was against Tennessee and we all know what happened.
• Random player stat: Fred Jackson has caught and thrown a TD against the Titans.
• Random team stat: The Bills have never won a game in Tennessee.
• Random Titans stat: The Titans scored 17 or fewer points in 11 games in 2014.

Week 6: Oct. 18 vs. Cincinnati Bengals 1 p.m. CBS

• One of my favorite Bills/Bengals memories: The MNF game in 1991. Kelly threw 3INTs in the first quarter, but finished the game with 5 TDs. The Bills thrashed the Bengals by like 20 points
• One of my least favorite Bills/Bengals memories: The OT loss in 2011. That was the bullshit Bryan Scott tuck rule on Andy Dalton that would have put the Bills up by 2 TDs. Bills lost in OT and fell to 3-1 on the year.
• Random player stat: Marcel Dareus has 2 career sacks against the Bengals
• Random team stat: The Bills have lost their last two games against the Bengals, but previously they won 10 straight against them.
• Random Bengals stat: AJ Green has averaged 110 yards receiving in two games against the Bills.

Week  7- Oct. 25 at Jacksonville Jaguars (in London) 9:30 a.m. TBD

• One of my favorite Bills/Jags memories: The first two games of the 2003 season will always haunt me in terms of fool’s gold. But hey, we did a number on the Jags in week 2. The offense and defense clicked. WE WERE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!
• One of my least favorite Bills/Jags memories: I always go with Kelly’s last game in the playoffs. However, I’ll venture to the 1997 game where Van Pelt faced off against Mark Brunell. We lost in an utterly boring game. I just remember the final offensive play for the Bills was this really bad roll out to the right and Van Pelt threw -actually floated- a pass across his body down the left side of the field for an INT. It was an awful play.
• Random player stat: Kyle Williams has 2.5 sacks and 17 tackles for his career against Jacksonville.
• Random team stat: The Bills are 4-2 all-time against the Jags on the road.
• Jags stat: Mike Mularkey, Dick Jauron, and Doug Marrone have been coaches for the Jags. Great company…

October schedule takes: 
Things look up as the Bills face three teams that had 6 or fewer losses from last year. Get ready for a lot of Watkins vs. Beckham hot takes. I’m still mulling going to the London game, but I know I’ll be too lazy to go.

BYE WEEK 

Week 9 Nov. 8 vs. Miami Dolphins 1 p.m. CBS

•  Another One of my favorite Bills/Dolphins memories: The 2004 game in Miami when the Bills scored like 42 points and Bledsoe had like one of his last great games as a pro (4TDs).
• One of my least favorite Bills/Dolphins memories: Terrell Buckley returning an INT for a TD in 1996. Bills were down 14-7 and at the goal line with like 3 minutes left. On 1st down Jim Kelly threw a pass out of the end zone that was called for intentional grounding, pushing the Bills back to the 10 yard line. After 3 unsuccessful plays, on 4th down, Kelly threw a pick 6 to Buckley. Game over. I was livid and the rest of my week sucked.
• Random player stat: Mario Williams has 8.5 sacks in his last 6 games against Miami.
• Random team stat: The Bills have held Miami under 17 points at home in 9 of their last 10 home games and have lost just twice at RWS since 2004.

Bills @ Jets: Nov. 12, 8:25 p.m. NFLN

•  One of my favorite Bills/Jets memories: Last year’s two games. We fricken annihilated them. 81-26 in those two games. Find me a more dominate sweep of a Bills opponent.
• One of my least favorite Bills/Jets memories: That Bills/Jets opener in 2002 will always give me nightmares. Fuck Chad Morton.
• Random player stat: In 3 games, Robert Woods has 14 catches for 202 yards and a TD against the Jets
• Random team stat: The Bills had 11 sacks against the Jets last year.
• Primetime stat: The Bills are 2-14 in their last 16 primetime games.

Bills @ Patriots:  Nov. 23, 8:30 p.m. ESPN

• Another One of my favorite Bills/Patriots memories- In 1999, the Bills kicked Bledsoe’s ass at home. This was when Bledsoe started having issues with pass protection.
• One of my least favorite Bills/Patriots memories- Oh, fuck you. 
• Random player stat: In 6 games against New England, Charles Clay has 17 catches for 156 yards and a TD.
• Random team stat: Tom Brady against Rex Ryan defenses (12 games): 21TDs and 6INTs. In 5 games, Brady had less than a 60% completion and had three games where it was under 50%. Brady had four 300-yard games.
•  The Bills haven’t won on MNF since 1999 against Miami. That was Flutie vs. Marino.

Bills @ Chiefs:  Nov. 29, 1 p.m. CBS

• One of my favorite Bills/Chiefs memories: Bills vs. Chiefs in 1994. This may have been the highlight of a disappointing 7-9 season. Still, not many teams can say they beat the crap out of Joe Montana.
• One of my least favorite Bills/Chiefs memories: Bryce Brown’s fumble against them last year. WHY!?!?
• Random player stat: Dareus and Jerry Hughes have 5 and 3 career sacks against the Chiefs.
• Random team stat: The Bills have met the Chiefs every single year since 2008. Its the longest consecutive streak they have had against a non-division opponent in franchise history.

November schedule takes
Gees. Can we get a home game or what for this month? Jesus. 3 straight roadies? Damn. BTW, stop complaining about the Bills NOT getting a home primetime game. The last time they had one, two people fricken died. I don’t think the Bills and the law enforcement of Orchard Park want to deal with our drunken escapades until 4AM.

Texans @ Bills: Dec. 6, 1 p.m. CBS

• One of my favorite Bills/Texans memories- Well, we only have two wins against them. I guess the Bledsoe game where Peerless Price had a TD and Travis Henry had like over 100 yards works here.
• One of my least favorite Bills/Texans memories- Last year’s game cementing EJ Manuel to the bench. I remember the JJ Watt INT return for a TD very vividly as I was looking at my food and then looked up to see him running the other way.
• Random player stat: EJ Manuel’s 2 TD passes against the Texans are a 3-way tie for the 2nd most in his career
• Random team stat: The Texans are the only team the Bills have never beat at home (0-2).

Bills @ Eagles: Dec. 13, 1 p.m. CBS

• One of my Favorite Eagles/Bills memories- The birth of the no-huddle offense. The Bills scored like 3TDs in the first quarter against Rex Ryan’s dad. The offense was on fire and James Lofton lit up the secondary
• One of my Least favorite Eagles/Bills memories- The season finale in 2007. It was an awful game where nothing happened and the offense looked awful. Marshawn Lynch caught a long screen pass and James Thrash scored on a fumble recovery for a TD.
• Random player stat: Percy Harvin has played one game against the Eagles and had 7 catches for 100 yards.
• Random team stat: Greg Roman is 2-0 against the Eagles and his 49ers offenses averaged 25 points per game.

Bills @ Washington: Dec. 20, 1 p.m. CBS

• One of my favorite Bills/Washington memories- The Bills crushed Washington in 1996 at RWS. Washington was like 9-1 and the Bills rushed for like 250 yards. Derrick Holmes had this awesome run where he pretty much broke 5 tackles for a TD.
• One of my Least favorite Washington/Bills memories- We really don’t have to go here.
• Random player stat: McCoy’s most TDs and catches against any team are against Washington (5TDs and 51 catches).
• Random team stat: The last time Washington beat the Bills was Super Bowl XXVI.
• If injuries or benchings don’t happen, RGIII would be the 6th QB the Bills face who were selected in the top 3 of the draft (RGIII, Luck, Bradford, Smith, Luck, Bortles)

 Cowboys @ Bills: Dec. 27, 1 p.m. Fox

• One of my favorite Bills/Cowboys memories- The Bills getting some semblance of SB revenge in week 2 against Dallas in 1993. It was a slugfest where Carwell Gardner of all players scored on a TD pass and did some weird-ass hurricanrana on a defender who made an INT. I’ll always remember Matt Darby getting the game-clinching INT in the endzone and Jerry Jones reaction shot being awesome cause he’s a douche.
•  One of my Least favorite Cowboys/Bills memories- We really don’t have to go here. Oh, and that MNF game in 2007 still gives me fricken nightmares.
• Random player stats: LeSean McCoy has games of 149, 185, 159 yards rushing against Dallas. One of Percy Harvin’s 5 kick off returns for a TD came against Dallas.
• Random team stat: The Bills have 5INTs against Tony Romo which are the 2nd most he’s had against any Non-NFC East team. All of them came in that damn MNF game that we should have won.
• Cowboys random stat: In six games where the weather is between 21 and 40 degrees, Tony Romo has 14TDs and 9INTs while averaging 247 yards.

Jets @ Bills: Jan. 3, 1 p.m. CBS

• Another One of my favorite Bills/Jets memories: The 1999 home opener that happened on SNF. The Bills always had a hard time beating Bill Parcells teams. They beat the crap out of Rick Mirer and Flutie had like this long ass QB run.
• Another One of my least favorite Bills/Jets memories: Having the Jets sweep the Bills in 1994 really cemented how the party was over in terms of the Bills being a dominate force in the AFC. You have to remember the Jets were pretty bad from 88-93.
• Random player stat: Dan Carpenter has made 29 of 31 FGs against the Jets and Sammy Watkins 157 yards against the Jets last year is a career high.
• Random team stat: After losing 6 straight games against the Jets, the Bills have won 3 of their last 4 by an average of 24PPG.

Final word:
I am not about to pick the Bills schedule until August. It makes no sense since the draft hasn’t happened yet. I’ll do that a week before the opener. Crazy how the Bills start the season with two straight games at home and end the season the exact same way. Also, strange how they play the NFC East 3 straight times in December which pretty much means the Bills AFC conference record will all but be cemented by the first week of December.

• The Bills have 9 games against teams that finished .500 or higher, but have four games against teams with fewer than 4 wins.
• The Bills have four games (Pats twice, Eagles, Cowboys) against teams ranked in the top 6 in offense.
• The Bills face only 4 teams who made the playoffs (Pats/Cowboys/Colts/Bengals).
• The Bills face the 26th, 28th, 30th and 32nd ranked offenses in 2015.
• The Bills face two of the top 10 passing defenses in the NFL.
• Against the Pats, Jets, Dolphins and Jags…EJ Manuel had a QB rating of 100.3.
• Half of the Bills schedule is against the top 15 rush defenses.
• The Bills face 5 teams who were in the top 7 in sacks.
• The Bills face just one first year head coach (Jets).
• The Bills face 7 teams who were in the top 10 for most kickoff yards allowed.
• The combined record for the Bills opponents is 124-131-1 which ranks as the 19th most difficult in the NFL

Stats from profootball reference and my brain