I have always felt very lucky to be a wrestling fan. Sure, my friends and family might think it’s weird that I had a WWE piñata at my 30th birthday, but unlike other nerdy/geeky things I could be interested in, wrestling has always been a fairly welcoming community. I attribute this to the fact that there are all sorts of wrestling fans and most fans understand that not every fan is going to like every promotion, wrestler, storyline etc.
Then I tried online dating. I included a picture of myself with Hacksaw Jim Duggan because my hair looks great in it and it’s a subtle way that I like wrestling. Most reactions are positive, but after a week I started getting messages my video game/Pokemon/sports geek female friends had warned me about. Quizzing me on wrestling history, assuming I wasn’t a “real” fan and mansplaining why my favorite wrestlers are actually terrible.
Thankfully Buffalo Wins is run by guys who get it and after seeing my twitter complaints let me give you this list of what dumb things not to say to a female wrestling fan. The best part is this list doesn’t just apply to female wrestling fans- most female sports fans have experienced some form of this. If a woman tells you she loves a sport (or sports entertainment) avoid saying the following:
1. “You probably just watch it for the half naked men.”
Yes, if you watch wrestling with me I will probably comment on how pretty Cesaro is. But I don’t spend hours of my time watching different promotions, reading blogs, and watching behind the scenes shows on the network for the eye candy. It takes a lot more than the “right look” for a wrestler to be successful and become someone’s favorite.
2. “Oh, you like wrestling? Do you even watch Lucha Underground? What’s your favorite era?”
This is the wrestling equivalent of “Name three of their albums”. Wrestling fans love to talk about wrestling, but there’s a difference between discussing or debating wrestling and “gatekeeping” to see a woman is a “real” wrestling fan. If a woman says she’s a wrestling fan- believe her. No one wants to have to prove themselves by having to list every incarnation and member of the nWo to be taken seriously.
3. “You just watch for the drama, not the matches.”
I have been known to describe wrestling as “a soap opera where they actually get to fight!” The drama and wrestling are dependent on each other: a great match with a terrible build is fine, but not going to make you want to leap out of your seat. An awesome story that culminates in a meh match? Terrible. Wrestling is best when there is a great storyline and talented wrestlers given time to have strong matches. For example, Sasha and Bayley at NXT Takeover: Brooklyn put on an amazing match that fans were invested in because of the storyline and their connection to these two women. The match with no build up would have been great, but the reason we still talk about it is because of the story, drama and emotion behind it.
4. “Oh, your boyfriend/husband must make you watch with them”
I’m a single, female WWE fan. I’ve watched wrestling with guys I’ve dated before because shared interests are awesome, but they’ve never “made” me watch. I’ve also dated guys who don’t get wrestling and refuse to watch at all. Second to this is the idea that I go to local shows to try to date wrestlers, or anything involving the phrase “ring rat”. It’s all offensive and basically says that women’s only interest in hobbies or entertainment is men.
5. “You’re probably a John Cena/Roman Reigns fan.”
You’ve figured it out. All women love John Cena. Except the women who hate him. Or the women who wish their fave would get a push. You know what’s great about wrestling? There are so many characters fans can connect with! Some women (and men!) want to cheer for the good guy/Superman type. Some want to dance with the New Day and others (myself included) marked out when AJ Styles entered the Royal Rumble. Wrestling is a big world- there’s room for all kinds of fans. If you need to blame someone for Cena “burying” your favorite – blame the kids who keep buying his merch.
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