Pirates Release What We Can Only Assume Is A Hostage Video Of David Freese

The Jewel Box. Bevo Mill. City Museum. David Freese.

All civic treasures.

Which is why it was so concerning to see Mr. Freese in what appears to be a hostage video recently posted to the Pittsburgh Pirates official Twitter feed.

I don’t even want to share it, but it’s important that you see:

Look at those eyes.

There is no way to know what went on prior to this taping. Judging by the Pirates hastily throwing a pajama top on him, we can only assume waterboarding. Don’t let the fancy decal over the cinder block wall fool you… our lil’ Davy is in serious trouble.

Anyone have any connections at the state department?

Stay strong, friend. We know you don’t mean any of those filthy words they’re making you say. We’ll get you out soon enough.

Photo: Twitter

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