Predicted NFL Standings for 2008
Last year, we asked ourselves, “How should we present our predictions for the season?” Using Star Wars characters was the obvious answer. But now, it’s a new season, and no matter how much we love all things Lucas, we simply cannot justify raising our nerdiness to Urkelian heights by doing Star Wars again. When we first made that choice, we felt a little lost. And then it came to us…LOST!
Um, maybe we need some help…
Now as season 5 of Lost gets started, we take a look back on the year that was to see how we did. A check mark next to a picture means we feel pretty good about the character we picked for that team (even if the record was a little off).
Prediction |
AFC EAST |
Lost Character |
Verdict |
New England
12 – 4 |
|
Benjamin Linus
Employs horrifying tactics in an effort to retain total control |
11-5 |
New York
10 – 6 |
|
Richard Alpert
The ageless wonder is one big question mark |
9-7 |
Buffalo
6 – 10 |
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Tom
Despite the gruff appearance, kind of a poof |
7-9 |
Miami 5 – 11 |
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Oceanic 815 One of the Ends broke off, and the whole thing crashes and burns on the beach |
11-5 The Searcher It turns out that help was on the way after all. |
Prediction |
AFC NORTH |
Lost Character |
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Pittsburgh
10 – 6 |
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John Locke Looks really cool but makes some really bad strategic mistakes |
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Cleveland
7-9 |
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Kate Sexy, but guaranteed trouble for anyone who picks them
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Cincinnati
7-9 |
|
Ana Lucia Troubled figure with criminal past whose attempt at relevancy ended abruptly
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4-11–1 Boone We wasted an awful lot of time on a rich guy who was never that interesting, and basically just served as eye candy. |
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Baltimore 6-10 |
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Aaron Maybe just a bit too young for life on an island |
11-5 Mikhail Bakunin Dude is badass and WILL stab someone. |
Prediction |
AFC SOUTH |
Lost Character |
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Indianapolis 12-4 |
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Jack Finally got off the island, but is getting ready to do it all again
|
12-4 |
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Tennessee
9-7 |
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Shannon Rutherford Lots of people think she’s hot. We think she was useless. |
13-3 |
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Houston
8-8 |
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Sawyer Trying to go from bad to good, but still can’t be fully trusted |
8-8 |
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Jacksonville
7-9 |
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Charlie Popular and interesting, but we’re pretty sure he’s doing blow in the bathroom |
5-11 |
Prediction |
AFC WEST |
Lost Character |
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San Diego
11-5 |
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Smokey Rampaging and scary, but goes oddly docile when confronted by certain players |
8-8 Martin Keamy Caused a lot of pain on his way out |
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Denver
9 – 7 |
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Libby Either a master psychologist or total nutcase |
7-9
|
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Kansas City
6 – 10 |
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Jin He’s in the conversation, but we aren’t totally sure he understands what’s being said |
2-14 He never seems to give much of an explanation for anything, but you sure don’t want to miss his press conferences |
|
Oakland
6-10 |
|
Jack’s Dad (Christian Shepherd) Totally stoned, but still operating. He keeps walking and talking, even though we are pretty sure he’s actually a corpse. |
5-11 |
Prediction |
NFC EAST |
Lost Character |
|
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Dallas
12-4 |
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Mr. Eko Totally badass, but you feel like karma will catch up to him |
9-7 |
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New York
11 – 5 |
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Sayid Fearless and a little crazy. Gets results. |
12-4
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Philadelphia
9-7 |
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Walt Uncommon talent, but suddenly looks way too old |
9-6-1 Still pulling off miracles, but we aren’t really sure how. |
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Washington 4 – 12 |
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Hurly Rich, fat, and possibly cursed |
8-8 |
Prediction |
NFC NORTH |
Lost Character |
|
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Minnesota
10 – 6 |
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Ethan Really scary but winds up getting offed early |
10-6 Still creepy every time he shows up. |
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Green Bay
8-8 |
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John Locke’s dad (Anthony Cooper) Not all comebacks are pleasant |
6-10 Goes out with a whimper not a bang |
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Chicago
6 – 10 |
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Rousseau Continually transmitting but nothing is ever received |
9-7 Alex A little younger and sexier than we gave them credit for.
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Detroit
4-12 |
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Desmond Keeps doing the same thing over while expecting different results |
0-16 The Time/Space Continuum
Jacked all to hell |
Prediction |
NFC SOUTH |
Lost Character |
|
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New Orleans
11 – 5 |
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Juliet Burke Sympathetic and attractive, but will come up short of the goal |
8-8 Sarah Shephard Still pretty hot, but not enough backbone. |
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Tampa Bay
9-7 |
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The Black Rock The ship has run aground |
9-7 In the end, they couldn’t move the Rock. |
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Carolina
9-7 |
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Claire Littleton You always think she will, but in the end she never does much of anything . |
12-4 Sun-Hwa Kwan
Has a lot more gumption than we thought, but needs to find a new main man, because the last one exploded at the worst possible time. |
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Atlanta
4 – 12 |
Nikki & Paulo Paralyzed and then buried alive |
11-5 Penny Widmore Never gave up, even when everyone told her there was no hope. |
Prediction |
NFC WEST |
Lost Character |
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Seattle
10 – 6 |
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Bernard Nadler Likable and even useful…but fairly boring |
4-12 Leslie Arzt Annoying know it all blew up all over everyone. Gotta admit, I’m not sure I saw that coming…but I should have. |
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Arizona
8-8 |
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Vincent Everyone expects too much considering that he’s kind of a dog .
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9-7 Whatever role he plays in the rest of the story is completely uncalled for |
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St. Louis
6-10 |
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Polar Bear The strangely displaced remnants of a bold experiment . |
2-14 Polar Bear Skeleton
You see it laying there in the desert, and think, “How the crap did that happen?” |
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San Francisco
5 – 11 |
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Miles Kind of a wuss, despite all the talk. Fascinated by ghosts |
7-9 Four toed Foot Statue Incomplete season raises interesting questions like, “Where the hell are this guy’s pants?” |
Special thanks to losthatch.com for many of the pictures.
Feeling lost? Email us at [email protected]
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