Chuck Klosterman and the B1G Ten

I was having a discussion with Eric the other day, and wanted to get some reader thoughts into this question… Who is Ohio State’s nemesis?  Who is their archenemy?

Before you answer,you should check out this article from Chuck Klosterman, where he defines these two entities and outlines one of his more famous thesis- that to be successful,

What you need is a) one quality nemesis, and b) one archenemy. These are the two most important characters in the life of any successful human. We measure ourselves against our nemeses, and we long to destroy our archenemies. Nemeses and archenemies are the catalysts for everything.

Now, I know that you’re probably asking yourself, How do I know the difference between my nemesis and my archenemy? Here is the short answer: You kind of like your nemesis, despite the fact that you despise him. If your nemesis invited you out for cocktails, you would accept the offer. If he died, you would attend his funeral and–privately–you might shed a tear over his passing. But you would never have drinks with your archenemy, unless you were attempting to spike his gin with hemlock. If you were to perish, your archenemy would dance on your grave, and then he’d burn down your house and molest your children. You hate your archenemy so much that you try to keep your hatred secret, because you don’t want your archenemy to have the satisfaction of being hated.

Obviously, several programs/teams jump to mind… although it would be interesting to see which ones each of you chose for each category.For me, Mich1gAAn is Ohio State’s nemesis… for as much grief as we give them here at the mothership, I have respect for the program- so much so that

• I was moved with Bo died (because Woody would have been)
• I thought Rich Rod was a disservice to their legacy (and I was right)
• I hold THE GAME to be one of the most sacred events of the year, no matter our records against each other (9-1 in the years of our Vestedness)

Growing up, though, I would have been hard pressed to identify an archenemy (given CK’s definition). I hated Wisconsin, who always seemed to get the best of the Buckeyes at the worst times, and Notre Dame’s success frustrated me until Ohio State ended up opening three cans of whooping on them.

These days, as much of a cop out as this is, I’m almost inclined to say “The Entire SEC”, although that’s not fair because a) Vandy, Kentucky, Old Miss, and Mississippi State don’t deserve that status (luckily I’m not a Wolverine fan), b) I like Mark Richt. There I said it,  and c) It really feels like it should be someone in conference. God, I hope it doesn’t become Nebraska.

Eric seemed to agree with me that TTUN was a nemesis, but was much more adamant that Wisconsin was the archenemy (for reasons I’ll let him share). James seems to be leaning toward PSU for that second category, while I haven’t got a good read on the rest of the crew. And, the answers might even be more complicated if you think of entire programs rather than just football or basketball…

Again, from the source text:

RECOGNIZING YOUR NEMESIS

• At some point in the past, this person was (arguably) your best friend.
• You have punched this person in the face.
• If invited, you would go to this person’s wedding and give him a spice rack, but you would secretly hope that his marriage ends in a bitter, public divorce.
• People who barely know both of you assume you are close friends; people who know both of you intimately suspect that you profoundly dislike each other.
• If your archenemy tried to kill you, this person would attempt to stop him.

RECOGNIZING YOUR ARCHENEMY

• Every time you talk to this person, you lie.
• If you meet someone who has the same first name as this person, you immediately like him less.
• The satisfaction you feel from your own success pales in comparison to the despair you feel at this person’s triumphs, even if those triumphs are completely unrelated to your life.
• If this person slept with your girlfriend, she would never be attractive to you again.
• Even if this person’s girlfriend was hateful, you would sleep with her out of spite.

So- let’s hear your thoughts… Who is the Buckeyes’ nemesis? Their arch enemy?