81. Boston Bruins at Ottawa Senators. Hey Ottawa, How's Our Ass Taste?

Oh Ottawa, how’s our ass taste? That’s what you say to someone who is in second place right? You ask them to eat a piece of your ass and then ask how it tasted? I don’t remember what we did with Montreal last year, but I’m sure it involved a buffalo, live or stuff preferably stuffed for safety’s sake, and a pitching wedge. Either way the Bruins are once against at the top of the Eastern Conference, looking down on all those pathetic teams who sit below them. They are Ned Stark and we’re the axe just relieving him of his duties…of living.

So this is meaningless game #2 if you’re looking at the standings. Yes, it is important for Boston to play well for the sole fact that this will more than likely be their first round opponent next week. Other than that, this game doesn’t mean a fucking thing. Think about it. You’re going to play your first round opponent a week early but you don’t dress your top 3 players. That’s right. Tim Thomas, Zdeno Chara and Patrice Bergeron didn’t even make the trip to Ottawa. For all I know, those three are currently at Laser Quest playing Team Slayer under the names “Timmy son of Timmy”, “Zdeno-Yo Raps” and because Bergeron is so fucking boring his probably just says “Patrice Bergeron”.

Be smart and temper expectations for tonight’s game. Maybe that’s loser talk, but ask me if I give a shit. With Thomas not making the trek to Ottawa, Anton Khudobin will most likely get the start between the pipes. The Bruins organization absolutely loves this guy. I’m pretty sure when Peter Chiarelli was able to acquire him, he needed to use an entire box of Klee-nex to clean up the mess he made in his slacks. If he didn’t have a wrist injury when Tuukka went down, Marty Turco would still be slaying Austrian sluts with his charm and terrible facial hair.

Also, apparently you pronounce the name “Who-do-bin”. Well, that’s what Dale Arnold said and he gets player’s names wrong all the time, so who the fuck knows. All I know is I like to say it like Ryu is throwing out a hadoken.

ryu
I’m excited to see this kid play. Should anything happen with Tim Thomas in the off-season, you’d more than likely see a Rask-Khudobin pair. Two young kids who could be a wonderful staple for a number of years? Sign me up.