I am Peter, Peter I-Am.

Editor’s Note: This post was wonderfully written by Breanne Mellen. You can find more of Breanne’s wonderful hockey writing at The Hockey Writers, the wonderful Along the Boards and Arctic Ice Hockey.  

I am Peter
Peter-I -Am

That Peter-I-am
That Peter-I-am
I do not like that Peter-I-Am

But do you like that Robins man?

I do not like him Peter-I-Am, 
I do not like that Robins man.

Would you like him here or there?

I would prefer him there not here, 
In Providence, not quite so near
I do not like that Robins man, 
I do not like him, Peter-I-Am

Would you like him on his own?
What if we threw in Simon?

I do not like him on his own, 
I would not like him with Simon
I would prefer him there not here, 
In Providence, not quite so near,
I do not like that Robins man.
I do not like him, Peter-I-Am.

Would you like him in the box?
Serving penalties and watching the clock?

Not in the box.
Not watching clocks.
Not on his own.
Not with Simon.
I would prefer him there not here, 
In Providence, not quite so near,
I do not like that Robins man.
I do not like him, Peter-I-Am.

Would you? Could you? 
Watch him fight?
Showing off his tremendous might?

I would not.
Could not, 
watch him fight, 
wasting roster space every night.

You may like him, 
You will see,
You may like him smacking Dupuis!

I will not wait,
I will not see,
What is this supposed to be?
A hockey team or a boxing league?
Not in the box.
Not watching clocks.
Not on his own.
Not with Simon.
I would prefer him there not here, 
In Providence, not quite so near,
I do not like that Robins man.
I do not like him, Peter-I-Am.

He’s tried hard though, can’t you tell?
Grit and hard work, he’s been through hell.

I like his hard work.
I appreciate it 
I don’t really care about grit,
Why can’t you see?
Peter Chiarelli?
I don’t understand mediocrity?
Peter-I-Am
Peter-I-Am
Keeping Robins on the Bruins is such a sham,
You had your grit
You had your fight,
A player that fought with all his might.
And let him go,
This summer, you see, 
To test his luck in free agency,
A change! You said,
More skill! You trilled.
But Peter-I-Am
I cannot be thrilled.
Peter-I-Am,
Peter-I-Am,
Robins and the Bruins.
Such a sham.