Everyone don’t feed the animals, stay together, and no flash photography. And remember, here at the Metrodome we’re dependant on balancing homos within the system. Okay, now everyone stay with the group, follow me, this way.
That’s what Bud (Pauly Shore) said when he first took the Tigers on a tour of the Metrodome. Then the Twins started hitting lazy fly balls that would blend into the white fiberglass fabric roof and cause all hell to break loose.
The latest ‘dome disaster involved a fly ball in the bottom of the 8th inning to rookie Don Kelly on Saturday evening. It appeared routine and should have been the crucial 2nd out of the inning in a game which Justin Verlander was desperately trying to labor his way through eight before handing the ball over to his nearly perfect closer. Instead of landing safely in Kelly’s glove, the ball was following the ‘dome’s GPS system and decided to land just out of the confused Kelly’s reach to his right, who lost the ball in the stupid roof. Rather than two outs with a man on first, the Twins had runners in scoring position with less than two outs and their stud, Joe Mauer, up to the plate. Of course, the Tigers walked him and a tiring Verlander faced Kubel who punched a bloop single to left, scoring two. Even the bloop single had that “only in the Metrodome” feel to it because Kelly looked as if he misplayed that one, too.
Verlander was then replaced with Brandon Lyon who immediately gave up a three run jack to Michael Cuddyer, who just so happens to be playing out of his freaking mind this season. Twins fans will say, “well we still would have won without the ‘dome job,” but you have to understand that one play changed EVERYTHING. Yeah, it would have been nice if Lyon buckled down and pitched his way out of the inning, but he didn’t, and it all links back to the ball hit to Kelly. If Kelly makes that play, Lyon may have never been needed.
Then of course, Tigers fans can talk about the Tigers hitting woes and how they blew this game on their own. A night after complaining the Tigers couldn’t hit, Detroit rattled off 11 hits against Carl Pavano, who has been next to perfect against Detroit in his career, and one more off Twins reliever Jose Mijares. The only problem? All 11 hits off Pavano were singles and resulted in just two runs (the 12th hit was a meaningless double in the 9th inning). In the end, Detroit left eight runners in scoring position and could have widened the gap before the whole debacle in the 8th inning ever came into play. Unfortunately, they didn’t and that play was much bigger than it may have needed to be.
Regardless of which direction you want to point your stubby fingers, Detroit is now up just two games in the Central Division and Nate Robertson will hopefully salvage a game in this series for the Tigers.
Win or lose, the positive outcome will be that it’s going to be the final game at the Metrodome ever, barring a one game playoff. Since the Metrodome opened in 1982, Detroit is just 82-111 (.425) and are 1-7 there this season.
When they decide to blow the ‘dome to smithereens, I plan on hopping in my car, driving over 600 miles to Minneapolis, and taking a piss and a massive dump on the rubble. I can’t wait.
Go Tigers.
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