Wings Take On Oilers and the Swine Flu

So tonight the Wings face the Edmonton Oilers and the swine flu.  Oh oops that’s right, we have to be all PC and shit, it’s not the swine flu, it’s the H1N1 virus.  Anywho, the Wings will be looking, or at least hopefully looking, to build off their win in Vancouver and begin to gain some semblance of the team we all know and love.

While the game is actually against the Oilers tomorrow, many of the articles have been covering  the swine flu (screw it, it’s quicker to type than H1N1) which has crawled into the Oiler’s dressing room.  Apparently 7 players have some variation of the flu. Ladislav Smid, ,Gilbert Brule, Ales Hemsky, Dustin Penner, Mike Comrie,  (oh no Hillary Duff, watch yourself) Denis Grebeshkov, and Lubomir Visnovsky are all feeling a little icky.

George over at Snapshots of course has all the pertinent information.  The quick recap; apparently fear of the flu has rightfully spread through the Wings organization.  Because let’s be brutally honest, the very last thing this team needs is…..well you know what I’m not even going to say it because quite frankly I am going to attempt to avoid jinxing them.  Let me put it this way, that saying “Everything you ever need to know you learned in Kindergarten,” is essentially being preached to the Wings by the training and coaching staff.

You know the basics like:

• Wash your hands before you eat
• Don’t share juice boxes or WATER BOTTELS
• Attempt to avoid eating boogers, but if the impulse is too intense, stick to your own.
• Do not unnecessarily lick objects….Tyler Kennedy I’m looking at you
• The ten second rule is from this day out null and void …..Homer…..
• Just because Brett Lebda said it’s cool…doesn’t mean it actually is, really that should be applied all year….

You know, things we’ve learned that apparently just need to be reiterated.  In addition, it has been rumored that the Wings organization has flown in several 300 pound drums of hand sanitizer and players and staff will be dipped in and out both pre and post game.  After the shit storm this season has become they are not taking any chances…

Alright so if that weren’t enough, George also warmed our hearts with this fun news.  Pavel Datsyuk missed practice with a foot injury.

Oh that’s right, you know an injury similar to what happened during the Finals we will not speak of….oh wait, what was that Babcockel……that wasn’t the issue…Please explain:

“I told you that last year in the playoffs, when he got a shot in the foot, too, and it ended up being a hole in his thigh, so you can’t trust me one bit,” Babcock joked. “No, he got a shot in the foot and he should go. He just was sore today and it wasn’t going to be comfortable getting his skate on.’’

You tricky little minx, or deceitful bastard, take your pick.  At this point I don’t find it funny.  Yeah, no, not funny at all.

Datsyuk just began to regain hisform and even a slight chance that he misses more games is something this weary stomach can’t handle.  I’m just going to ask because I have to, who pissed in the hockey gods cereal….who? I have my suspicions, Homer’s always on the list, Draper thinks he’s funny like that, Lebda because well, because I blame him for everything…..I don’t know somebody did something.

Ok that was slightly more sarcastic and bitchy than initially intended so let me just leave you with something that will have sunshine, rainbows, and yes unicorns shooting out of your ass:

“Things didn’t go real well last night, but I feel good,” he said after practice today at Rexall Place. “I think it’s the opposite of last year – I really wasn’t playing well at the start of last year. This year it’s been the opposite. I’ve had moments that have just been a combination of me making mistakes and bad luck. If I look back on the first 10 games, I’d say six minutes in St. Louis in Sweden, nine minutes in Buffalo and just probably the first seven minutes of last night, things have gone real well.”

What? That didn’t do it?  Alright well the Wings play tonight in Edmonton.  One win doesn’t make a season. It’s time for them to get on a roll and do it fast.  This game is an important one.  Did you think we would be having this discussion in October?