Congratulations to the New York Yankees on winning the 2009 World Series (gulp — that was my pride). Anyway, Hideki Matsui won the World Series MVP after knocking in a record tying six RBIs in Game 6 to help lead the Yanks to their 27th World Series title. Wow, says Tyler Hansbrough.
After the game, FOX’s biggest DB interviewed the World Series MVP with the help of Matsui’s translator, because you know, he’s speaks another language. I’m pretty sure it’s Asian. The translator gave really top notch, PC answers, but I took two weeks of Spanish and I know that what the translator and Hideki were saying in their native tongue was not what Chris Rose thought it was. Comprende?
Have a listen to it, followed by the accurate foreign language translations taken directly from babelfish.
Chris Rose: Hideki, you had one of the greatest games in World Series history under the brightest lights here in Game 6. How does that feel?
Translator to Hideki: This guy is a total douche knob. Is he really wearing a pink tie? How the fuck does he think you feel after winning MVP in the fucking World series? (Hideki leans back and laughs)
Hideki: (stops laughing, tries to get serious face but can’t) And that pink handkerchief? Tell him to go blow Joe Buck because I want to go ride Boggs’ horse.
Translator to Chris Rose: Yeah, it’s awesome. It’s, uh, just unbelievable. I mean, I surprised myself. (nods head convincingly; Matsui giggles)
Chris Rose: You won three championships for your home land of Japan, you now win one on the biggest stage in the world with the Yankees. How does this compare?
Translator to Hideki (serious): I just farted. (Matsui nods, indicating he could smell it). I hope it crawls into Chris Rose’s nose. (Matsui nods in approval and tries to hide smile). I want it to knock him out so we can go ride the horse.
Hideki to translator: That would be ideal, but let me ride the horse first because tonight is my night. Lesley Gore sang it best, “It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to.” (Matsui nods proudly because he worked in his favorite 1960s American singer’s famous line).
Translator to Chris Rose: Yeah, I mean, it’s certainly different. I mean, all I can say right now is (shakes head because he’s struggling), is, I feel great. I’m so happpy right now (Matsui grins at how badly his translator blew that one).
Chris Rose: We know that you are a free agent at season’s end. I imagine you want to come back here and successfully defend your championship, donchya?
Translator to Hideki: Turn your head I’m about to fart again (Matsui turns his head). Did you see Larry David at tonight’s game? He’s pretty pretty pretty funny. (Matsui is getting dizzy from all the gas and Chris Rose’s stupid questions).
Hideki to translator: (Matsui burps)
Translator to Chris Rose: Yeah, you know, I hope so. I hope it works out that way. I love New York, I love the Yankees, I love the fans here. I hope everything works out well. I’m just happy right now.
Chris Rose: Hideki Matsui, the first full time DH to win the World Series MVP. Congratulations. (Matsui mockingly laughs while thinking about the TP job he’s going to drunkenly put on Chris Rose’s house tonight).
Matsui then nods his head, a sign from his home land that means “eff you very much,” while Chris Rose contemplates a hand shake, but decides against it when he realizes he’d probably be denied. Matsui raises the MVP trophy in the air.
Chris Rose: Alex Rodrig…! (dirty thoughts of A-Rod’s purply lips enter Rose’s mind).
FIN
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