Stafford…And All That Jazz

In an attempt to somewhat get back to D4L’s roots, a time when I didn’t write multiple posts a day, I’ll provide bulleted thoughts regarding the state of Detroit sports and all that jazz:

• Speaking of jazz, why don’t we paint the town and all that jazz? The Pistons haven’t painted Salt Lake City red, white, and blue since 2002.  With last night’s loss to the Jazz, Detroit hasn’t even owned a palette since 2005.  They’ll play the Suns tonight hoping to salvage a game on their west coast schwing!

• The Red Wings picked up a win in a shootout last night against the Canadiens.  I managed to watch the all-French broadcast and brush up on mon francais. Didn’t work out that well.  Carey Price allowed his first shootout goals of the season — two, to Datsyuk and Zetterberg.

• Michigan football breaks record after record of futility each week.  This week?  Rich Rod becomes the first Michigan coach to start his career 0-2 vs. tOSU.  Michigan will be bowling not playing in a Bowl game this year for the second year in a row.  Sparty on.

• Matthew Stafford threw an NFL record 5 touchdown passes today against the equally lowly Browns.  It might come at a huge price, though.  He injured his left shoulder after throwin a 32 yard lob down field as time expired.  He had to come out of the game, but an ill-advised timeout from Cleveland with Detroit getting one last play at their one, allowed Stafford to come back into the game and toss a game winning touchdown pass to Brandon Pettigrew.  Apparently, he immediately cringed in pain after seeing it completed and winced his way to the lockerroom.  Lions improve to 2-8, but I gladly would have taken 1-9 with a healthy Stafford.  *keeping fingers crossed*

• “Stafford’s best play of the game might have been eluding 4 team doctors and getting back on the field.” — Jim Schwartz

• Speaking of the Lions win, all the morons who are talking about “draft position” after a game like this are clearly not Lions fans.  Or Browns fans (unless it’s your way of coping as a Browns fan today).  If you’re a fan of one of these truly pathetic losing teams, all you should care about is winning football games because it doesn’t come often.  This win for the Lions was absolutely amazing.  If you’re focused on the Lions losing the number one draft pick, you’re a moron and should be sentenced to a looping stream of the Twilight movies.

• Stafford. Is. A. Man. Bear. Pig.

• Speaking of Twilight, my fiance came home from seeing the movie Friday night gushing about what team she was on: Team Edward or Team Jacob.  I vomited and, as I whiped remnants off my sleeve, I said, “I’m team Stafford.”  Okay, last Stafford comment, I swear.

• Is there a vaccine to cure all the injuries the Red Wings are racking up? Niklas Kronwall was injured last night on what may have been a dirty hit.  Anti-Kronwalled.  He’s expected to miss up to a month.