Lions Embarrass Jim Schwartz in Front of His Family

Jim Schwartz was born and raised in Baltimore, the second child in a family of nine, so you can probably imagine how thrilled he was to see the Baltimore Ravens on his first ever schedule as a head coach in the NFL.  A chance to play in front of his family and show how far he has climbed (or fallen) in order to become the head coach of the Detroit Lions.

In his childhood home, just miles from the Ravens stadium, Schwartz’s parents keep all of Jimmy’s paraphenalia, documenting all the years leading up to him taking over the head coaching gig with the Lions.  They showcase everything from arm wrestling (yes, arm wrestling) trophies to waving a Lions flag as proudly as one can outside the home.  If you were to go into the house he grew up in, you’d channel your inner Mrs. Finkle and think, “what a sports nut, huh?” It’s cozy, if you’re Hannibal Lecter!

One might say this was the biggest game on the schedule for Jim Schwartz.  A game he really wanted to win to make his family truly proud.  After all, they were certainly all going to be at the game rooting him on (see picture above) and it would make the trip to Applebee’s after the game a whole lot less murky.

But Schwartz’s team let him down big time in front of his family.  They may as well have pantsed him in front of all his family and friends, revealing a little butterfly tattoo he drunkenly got in Mexico with his friends.   He was shamed.  The Lions defense did the exact opposite of what the pictured t-shirt suggests they should have tried to do to those jerks on the Ravens, allowing them to rack up the most yards from scrimmage in the team’s 13-year history (548!).   Detroit’s 45-point loss was the worst since 1991.

I can only wonder what the conversation between Jim and pops was like after a game as infuriating as that:

Jim: I’m not happy, we were awful, Dad.

Dad: Well you weren’t good.

Jim: I’m as mad as a hornet.

Dad:  Maybe Andy can get us some Hooters girls. That will make us feel better.

Okay, okay; probably not even close to their post-game conversation, but that last quote from Dad isn’t as crazy as it sounds.  Andy Schwartz, Jim’s brother, once brought Marvin Lewis a platter of chicken wings and a couple of scandalously clad Hooters babes to the booth when Marv expressed his hunger back in his days with the Ravens.

Screw a sad meal at Applebee’s, the Schwartz family most definitely went to Hooters.