It’s Saturday and since there is no longer college football for your viewing pleasure, I have bullet points (full of luscious links)…. What’s that? There are NFL playoff games today? Well, shit. They don’t start until 4:30, though? Aha! Until then, enjoy some storiezzzzzzzzzzz.
- Speaking of the NFL, big… no, HUGE coaching news came Friday: The Lions fired special teams coach, Stan Kwan. It turned out that the nude photos Kwan was blackmailing owner, William Clay Ford, with all these years to keep his job were just print offs from lemonparty.org. (NSFAnytime)
- The news brings a big sigh of relief for all Lions fans and a bunch of College All-stars who will not get worse from playing under him. Oh, you didn’t hear? The Lions organization has somehow tricked the NFL and College football into allowing them to coach the North squad in this year’s Senior Bowl. Hopefully, the Lions can bring back the North squad’s offensive line and entire defense as part of the deal. Don’t be fooled by the talent of the Senior Bowl, though: the Lions actually have 21 former Senior Bowlers on their team right now.
- Far less significant NFL coaching news came out of Seattle yesterday. They decided to fire first year head coach, Jim Mora. Sources say that long-time USC coach, Pete Carroll will be his replacement. I guess he’ll have to update his Twitter info to “Always Compete! Win Seldom!”
- The nightcap tomorrow night will be between the Cowboys and Eagles. The Cowboys swept the regular season games, but that was all a part of the Eagles’ plans. DeSean Jackson says the Eagles are going to sting the Cowboys’ asses and that “them boys are scared” of Jackson.
- As you know, Texas fell to Alabama Thursday night in the BCS National Championship game. Fans (and Texas) were robbed of a real game because Colt McCoy went down with a mysterious right shoulder injury. It was unfortunate. I’m a big Colt McCoy fan (if the Lions had any QB other than Stafford I’d want it to be Peyton Manning, then Drew Brees, then Philip Rivers, then Tom Brady, then probably Colt McCoy), but I wish he would have stuttered less and shown a little more “pissed off” emotion after the game, his last as a Longhorn. But that’s probably what makes him a bigger and better man than Matthew McConaughy, who was seen after the game shirtless and really mad.
- LA Angels catcher, Mike Napoli’s mom accidentally showed some boobage at a New Year’s party, apparently. No wonder everyone kept giving her beads like she was on Spring Break and people were calling her Mrs. Nippoli (how many times do you think that one’s been used?).
- Darren Helm and Justin Abdelkader got worms. Red Wings teammates, Kris Draper and Krik Maltby, think while they might be good hockey players, they are extremely dumb, so they’ve earned the nicknames Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne from Dumb and Dumber. That explains why Abdelkader was licking the goal post the other night.
- Allen “The Canswer” Iverson returns to the Palace tonight to take on his former team (puke). Iverson will most likely hear boos, jeers, and catch a full beer cup to the side of the head.
- Oh, nothing out of the norm here — a video of Scottie Pippen getting beat up by a bunch of little people. I just had a discussion with a friend on whether ‘midget’ is an accepted term, and he told me he thinks it’s not and offensive. Then I learn that there is a new, straight-to-DVD movie called Midgets vs. Mascots starring Gary Coleman. I think I would prefer, “spirited and cuddly superfans,” (for the mascots, not the little people). I think Hooper and Paws would agree.
- Stephen Jackson has the nugget of the week:
Everybody wants to do their best when making love. I feel like when I go to the free throw line, I’m making love to my wife. I concentrate, just stay focused on what I’m doing.
And if you keep really focused, it won’t last very long and you’ll leave satisfied (the trip to the free throw line, get your heads out of the gutter!). But if Stephen Jackson is thinking about making love at the free throw line, then I don’t think I want to know what Ben Wallace has on his mind.
- I knew I really liked Matt Kemp and now he’s hitting (home runs with) Rihanna… in the sexy, non-Chris Brown sense:
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