St. Patty’s Links – Tiger Woods Coming Back (ESPN Drunk with Excitement), Drunk and Hot Girls, and a Drunken Phillies Trade Rumor

St. Patrick’s Day is finally here, which means I’ll probably be inebriated by the time you read this. Of course, if you’re celebrating properly you shouldn’t be able to read these words. Just stare at the blur and try not to puke.

• The anchors at Sportscenter need new pants. Tiger Woods is coming back to the PGA Tour for the Masters, taking place the first second (thanks to our readers for catching that) weekend in April. Not only does this make for endless “what does this mean for ___” coverage from the 4-letter, but ESPN has exclusive coverage of the tournament during the weekdays. Times like these are why we have mute buttons. Brace yourselves.

• This is the epitome of dumb. Someone in Philadelphia started a Ryan Howard for Albert Pujols trade rumor, which, naturally, ESPN got word of and played the shit out of it. There is no way St. Louis even considers this deal. It’s not a bad idea in your fantasy league though (if you have Howard). Pujols is playing for a new contract this year.

• Over at Ball Don’t Lie, new head man Trey Kerby takes a look at a possible cause for Jason Maxiell’s breakout season: Antonio McDyess. Apparently Dyess took Max under his wing and gave him some good career advice before he left for San Antonio. Hopefully Max continues to take the advice to heart while continuing his baby-eating ways.

• Between yesterday’s Gilbert Arenas interview and this today, I’m starting to become a fan of Esquire magazine. In their Sexiest Woman Alive tournament, #1 seed Natalie Gulbis is currently being ambushed by #16 seed…. Lane Kiffin? The fans got jokes, and I like it. [via Deadspin]

• Speaking of Esquire being awesome, Guyism has a video of Candice Swanepoel dancing in her undies for the Magazine of Awesomeness (as I’m now calling it). Also, be sure to check out these truly amazing pictures of Yoopers Steve Mariucci and Tom Izzo.

• As a Lions fan (because you obviously are), you shouldn’t need any more reasons to hate Brett Favre. Oh well, here’s one more. And yes, she will eat you.

• I’m a bit behind on some of my regular reads after spending a week without internet, so I’m just finally getting to some great posts from sites I link regularly. Maize ‘n’ Brew has broken out their Bitter Bowl Bracket to find out who’s team truly is teh suck. Make sure to check it out, if nothing else for this video of Ryan Mallett ridin’ dirty.

• Yesterday was a great day for the female population. Check out Kristin Cavallari getting her (car) body worked on, courtesy of Sharapova’s Thigh.