Who: The Miami Dolphins vs. the Indianapolis Colts.
What: Week 10 of the 2019 NFL season.
Where: Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, IN.
When: 4 PM Eastern, Sunday, November 10. There’s literally no reason for this game to start at 4 PM. None. TV: CBS. There’s no way this week’s announcing team of Greg Gumbel and the oft-concussed Trent Green can be worse than Ian Eagle and Dan Fouts were last week. Fouts practically rooted for Pittsburgh to win. It was the second week in a row they covered the Colts. The saying is “familiarity breeds contempt.” We’re full of contempt, Fouts. Full of it.
Why the Colts will score more than the other guys:
1. Luck
No, no, no, not that guy. It’s like you all are out here Darnolding (Darnolding is a term I made up that means to see ghosts, real or imagined).
Last Sunday’s debacle pissed me the hell off. Everyone wants to point fingers at Vinatieri, and that’s fine, but the officiating was less than stellar, some of the play calling – especially the 2 point try and the 3rd and 1 prior to the Vinatieri miss – was questionable, Darius Leonard committed one idiotic personal foul (the flag for the out of bounds hit was BS), and apparently he can’t cover his own shadow. A lot of things went wrong, which is par for the course every time they play Pittsburgh. Terrible Towels are stupid.
And so are the people who wave them.
Dwight Freeney is getting inducted into the team’s Ring of Honor this Sunday, and what a coincidence….
The Colts lead 27-21 with 1:33 left, and the Dolphins are facing a 4th and 2 from the Colt 37. The Colts looked like they were going to run away with this early, but then stupid penalties and #FitzMagic happened, and the Dolphins have rallied.
#FitzMagic takes the snap…he’s looking…but he doesn’t see the Freeney-to-a-tee spin move pulled off by “Margus Hunt.” Strip sack! Bobby Okereke scoops up the fumble and rumbles awkwardly towards the end zone before he’s accidentally tackled by Rock Ya-Sin, who is also flagged for a horse collar tackle. You can’t make this stuff up, folks.
On the sideline, “Hunt” takes off his helmet, revealing a disheveled looking man with a full beard, and wearing a….Colts uniform, duh. He eludes his teammates and races down the tunnel, never to be seen again.
When the victorious Colts return to the locker room, they find the real Margus Hunt bound and gagged by duct tape. Written on each piece of tape is “I gave my heart to this team!”
Tell me I’m wrong.
2. Jess
Jess wasn’t fond of my apparent criticism of her contribution last week. Women. Can’t live with them, and they can’t pee standing up.
Anyway, Jess says the Colts will score more than the other guys because Miami’s “only win is against a team that also only has one win.”
I’m inclined to agree with her, although part of me thinks she’s thrown away my “Gloria” beer.
Thank you for stepping up to the plate, Jess.
3. D Freeeee
Sunday is Freeney’s day. What a player. One of the coolest things about the NFL is how the game constantly evolves. It’s the passage of time, it’s a scheme no one’s seen before, it’s a generational talent, it’s all of those things. Indeed, Freeney himself is a good example of how the game constantly changes. If he were coming out of college today, he would be an edge rusher, and not be in the trenches like he was for the majority of his career. If Lawrence Taylor is the Godfather of today’s edge rusher, Dwight Freeney is certainly one of the key Lieutenants sitting at the same table.
125.5 sacks. 46 forced fumbles. The interesting thing about the forced fumbles stat is his career high of 9 came during his rookie season. What this says to me is QB’s learned fairly quickly that instead of saying “Oh ****!” when they saw #93 bearing down on them, they went “Oh ****! I better protect the ball.”
No matter where Freeney lands on the list of all-time pass rushers, no one can deny his uniqueness. The spin move. It was a thing of beauty. I was going to post a career highlights video, but then I remembered his appearance on ESPN’s Sports Science show, and it’s far better.
Keep in mind Freeney was 32 and in his 11th season when this was shot. Look at how quick and powerful he still was. Watch this and give some credit to just how good the guys he played against were, because you see this and wonder why he didn’t have 325.5 career sacks. Amazing.
No cheerleaders this weeks, folks. I know you’re disappointed. I am.
Colts 27, Dolphins 21
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