By Sean Kennedy (@PhillyFastBreak)
(Courtroom, interior, sometime in the near future)
Judge Adam Silver: Alright, we’re here to rule on the case of tanking by the Sixers, and their role in the great Philadelphia basketball riots of 2015. We’ll now hear the opening statements from each side.
Chief Prosecutor Doug Collins: Your honor, clearly what’s going on in Philadelphia is a blatant disregard for all that’s good and right about the game of basketball. Teams are supposed to enter each season in good faith with the objective of winning as many games as possible. Anything else is a disservice to the fans and the league as a whole.
Lead Defense Attorney Sam Hinkie: Your honor, all the Sixers have done is work within the confines of the current system to maximize their chances of becoming a true contender in the long-term. It’s a superstar-driven league, and the best way to obtain one of those superstars is through the draft. All they’re doing is trying to earn themselves as many opportunities as possible to find that guy to lead the team over the next decade.
Collins: If it pleases the court, I have Exhibit A, the game tape between the Sixers and the Dallas Mavericks from November 13, 2014. I’d like to stream this video at this time; it’s a vital part of the prosecution’s argument.
Silver: Stop! That evidence was supposed to be sealed in the archives, never to be shown again to human eyes for fear of the devastation it might cause to the wider population. You’ve made your point.
Hinkie (spasms beginning to overtake him): We concede this matter.
Silver: The court rules in favor of the prosecution. Case dismissed.
The Mavericks run one of the best offensive systems in the league, and despite the return of Michael Carter-Williams and Nerlens Noel Thursday night, no one really expected the Sixers to come away with a win in a difficult match-up. Still, what transpired in Dallas was beyond the pale of any Sixers fan’s wildest nightmares. The Sixers faced the largest halftime deficit in franchise history, falling behind by 44 points at 73-29 going into the break. As pointed out by beat writer Keith Pompey, the Mavericks could have gone scoreless in the second half, and still won the game.
Absolutely nothing went right for the Sixers. The team shot under 30% from the field, barely made 50% of their free throws, turned the ball over a whopping 27 times against just 9 assists, and failed to provide even a modicum of entertainment for the Dallas home crowd. Fans were reading newspapers while the game was going on in the second quarter! Dirk Nowitzki scored 21 points on just 8 shots in 20 minutes of game action. The Sixers were guarding him with Hollis Thompson at one point, and Dirk would easily back him down and hit his patented one-footed fallaway jumper like he was in pre-game warm-ups. Nevertheless, on a night Charlie Villanueva came in to score 10 points in 8 minutes, nearly any of the Mavericks who took the court could have slaughtered the Sixers. Best to just wipe this game from our collective memory banks.
Positives:
- Michael Carter-Williams’ shoulder didn’t fall off. Unfortunately, the reigning ROY’s editorial debut went much more swimmingly than his season debut, as he shot just 6-19 from the field and turned the ball over 6 times. Still, he played 30 minutes and didn’t look to be at all physically impaired following the long rehab period, so that’s a good sign going forward. He did also provide the team’s lone highlight of the night in his first possession of the game.
- As a member of a free society, you had the option to change the channel.
That’s about it as far as positives went. The Sixers will run things back in Houston tonight. I’m going with the Sixers +52.5. Hopefully, I don’t get burned again.
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