It’s been a long time since there has been anything to celebrate in Montreal. The Canadiens haven’t been relevant in about 20 years, the Expos up and moved on them and even the Alouettes haven’t won a Grey Cup in over 5 years, which is tough in a league with 8 teams. Needless to say, when the Habs beat the Bruins last night, they were rather excited.:
Right then. They might have gone a little too far with this one in Montreal (click picture for full story). But it just goes to show you, that every once in a while, things are set up to induce rioting. Even French Canadians can be drawn into the allure of a car fire after a team finally wins a big one. Which cities out there are primed for rioting? Let’s look at 5 of them.
Cleveland, Ohio
For about 40 years, the city of Cleveland has done nothing. Browns? Abysmal, moved to Baltimore, reformed, abysmal again. Cavaliers? A whole period with Zydrunas Ilguaskas as their best player. Indians? They made a movie about them because they were an easy team to make jokes about. But this year, the Browns are improving, the Cavs have Lebron James and the Indians are a candidate to be the AL representative in the World Series. If the Browns make it out of the wild card round, the industrious people of the city are liable to set fires that last for weeks.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
There hasn’t been a championship in Minnesota since 1991 and not even a post season victory for about 5 years.. There are decent teams in town, but they just don’t get the job done. Minnesota is definitely primed to see a hockey riot next year, should the Wild accomplish anything. Sure, Minneapolitans are fairly docile in terms of urban populations, but would you have expected a riot in Montreal either?
Lincoln, Nebraska
Every once in a while, a college out there somewhere gets it in their head that they just want to party and light couches on fire. Considering how well couches lite when soaked in booze, it makes for a good time. Before I got there, Purdue was big on rioting, having done so the Spring of 2001 after Purdue lost in women’s basketball to Notre Dame. Women’s basketball. My dorm still smelled of tear gas when I moved in that Fall. Right now, the mantelpiece of rioting student bodies is upon West Virginia. If the Huskers can return to glory, a student body with practice cow tipping surely wold have the strength to flip a few cars.
Detroit, Michigan
I could say that they would riot if the Lions win, but they could just as well riot if they don’t. Detroit is liable to see riots in the offseason. Riots in Detroit just seem inevitable.
Beijing, China
With this being the first city outside of the area, clearly the upper Midwest is a powderkeg. So too is Beijing, among the many things the city has in common wiht Lincoln. With such emotion heading into the Olympics, and possibility of shenanigans could lead to a scuffle which could metastasize into an ugly international incident that the Chinese will say is fans of the Olympic games being a little bit too jubilant. Joy is frowned up0n in China, so that’s why the tanks were brought out.
So, keep an eye on those cities if you’re there. Let me know in the comments if there is another hot spot lurking out there somewhere that I am unaware of. I need to know whether or not I should pack Kevlar.
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