The Winter Meetings’ and the Lost Potential

The Winter Meetings were the meetings with so much potential that just didn’t happen. Oh, there was some action–none by the Twins, but that was for the safety of everyone. I don’t believe there is a person in the world that wouldn’t have had at least a minor heart attack or stroke with the headlines that the Twins made a deal of any sort at the Winter Meetings. I’m guessing that none of the Twins personnel even made a deal at any of the card tables at the Winter Meetings.

Ryan pointed out that the meetings were held in Vegas, a place not known for integrity. We had such high expectations (I was looking for the first 50-player trade, myself), but nothing too exciting happened. Jake Peavy wasn’t traded. Manny Ramirez didn’t sign anywhere and cause some controversy. Greg Maddux retired, which apparently was classy, but not exciting.

So here’s what could’ve been, but didn’t happen:

• The San Diego Padres trade Kevin Kouzmanoff to the New York Islanders for Richard Park, on the basis that Kouzmanoff sounds like the name of a hockey player, and Park sounds like the name of a baseball player.
• Royals trade General Manager Dayton Moore and infielder Kila Ka’aihue to the Tampa Bay [Devil] Rays Executive vice president Andrew Friedman.
• California doesn’t need five baseball teams and Canada deserves more than one team. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim will now play in Calgary, and be known as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in Calgary. As this seems a mockery of a name, MLB decides the official name will be Calgary’s Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.
• The New York Yankees pay $200 billion for the rights to Cy Young’s DNA, and scientists to begin work on human cloning.
• Chicago White Sox General Manager Ken Williams reveals a long-held secret that he did not mean to sign AJ Pierzynski. He wasn’t paying attention and thought the deal was for AJ Brunett.
• The Florida Marlins announces that half of their home games in 2008 were actually played using MLB Y2K8 on the XBox in the clubhouses, because it was too hot and humid to play–and there were no fans to notice, anyway.
• The Philadelphia Phillies announce they won the 2008 World Series. Investigations begin when everyone there admitted they had not actually watched the series.
• Pete Rose presented on why gambling should be allowed in baseball. A vote upheld the no-gambling rule, although Rose claims it was unfair with only 15% attendance because so many were on the floor playing poker at the time of the vote.

The Winter Meetings this year could’ve been so much fun, but alas, even holding them in Vegas meant much of the same from previous years. (Really, that’s a good thing. I would hate to see my favorite sport be made into a laughingstock.)

Timberwolves update: 4-21 (0-4 since last week, 0-6 since McHale)

Marian Gaborik Injury Status: To spite me, M. Gaborik made a miraculous recovery, and played again in 2008. And scored a goal and an assist in his first game back, including a game-tying game in the waning minutes of the game.