At work the other night, we were listening to the radio when that song “Fireflies” or whatever by Owl City, who happens to be from Owatonna, just down the road. This guy made a stupid song on his stupid keyboard about insomnia. I could write a song or two as well, I bet. I got some great ideas for an entire album, based solely on my hypoglycemia.
Track 1: Juice. A song about how I need sugar or I am going to pass out.
Track 2: Bread, please. Delves into my need for complex carbohydrates.
Track 3: Vertigo. A song about what it’s like to get the spins. Uno! Dos! Tres! Catorce! I need to sit down!
Track 4: Adrenaline. A nice diddy about how my damaged adrenal glands lead to a proclivity for panic attacks.
I was thinking about maybe throwing in a few songs about my other medical maladies on the B side of the album.
Track 5: Astygmatism. A ballad dedicated to my terrible vision.
Track 6: Under Pressure. High blood pressure that is!
Track 7: A man my age should not feel pain like this. A song about heartbreak… after finding out you have arthritis at 21.
Track 8: Out of My Hands. A song about how everything falls out of my grasp. Because I have ridiculously undersized hands. It’s a nightmare, really.
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